Rabukome
by Yuki
Summary: A war had began anew. Kaoru has devised a scheme to get the men safely back home and ensure peace...total abstinene from sex! What? And how? read on to find out! Some chapters may contain limey/lemony parts.
1. Rabukome Chapter 1: When The Girls Get T...

Rabukome   
By Yuki Takano  
flame me at: tanukigirl@edsamail.com.ph  
  
quick note:  
  
hiya minna! i'm back again! first let me give a background on this fic. for starters, this is just a teaser. sort of an experimental fic. if no one liked this fic, for reasons for which i would truly understand. i'd remove it as fast as i can to save valuable space at fanfiction.net for better fanfics, ne? so you really have to tell me what you feel about this fic. ok? but i feel good aboutthis fic...so i just dared to post i anyway...  
  
RABUKOME is a japanese word which means romantic comedy.   
  
I know it sounds kinda lame, but this fic is an adaptation of a greek comedy play "Lysistrata" and the main character is Lysistrata. so that's how they got the title. but since i've adapted this to rk...i can't possibly title the fic "Kaoru" or any other name of the female characters for that matter...so um, to be fair. i chose this title. and i have retained a couple (couple! yeah right! i practically stole the whole thing anyway! i DID stole it!) of lines from the original story and added/changed a few to suit meiji era japan.   
  
standard discalaimers apply for rk. as for lysistratra...i dunno what to say or write. but it belongs to aristophanes. but please don't sue. i'm just a bored teenager who sees rk in every story that i read. i never even make a cent out of this. not a single dime! i'm not worth suing.   
  
well yeah, whatever. i just hope you enjoy this fic as much as you did with "A Date With A Senpai" (which I still have to finish...but i promise i would eventually finish) I just had to do something different to get my mind to start working again. Thanks for reading and reviews please! i really appreciate them! thanks again. now on to the fic  
  
  
  
Rabukome  
  
  
  
It was in the early morning of this particualr date and time that we find Kaoru pacing back and forth at one of the main streets of Tokyo, hands folded across her chest and looking startlingly serious. Her frown deepening as she raised her head meeting the glare of the bright sun. With furious impatiance, she took her shinai and started swinging in perferct arches, punctuating every word with each nasty swing.   
  
KAORU: Announce a sale on imported satin kimonos or perhaps a tea party in honor of the gods of fertility and every woman of Japan would come hurrying here in no time. But today, not even one! Not a shadow of Tokyo's finest women! (She looked straight ahead, her blue eyes glittering as she dropped the arm holding her shinai) Well, here's one. (plastering an accomodating smile) Why hello Tae-san!  
  
TAE: And hello to you too Kaoru-chan. I came here as soon as I heard.  
  
KAORU: Good that means you've already told everyone at the Akabeko about our meeting.  
  
TAE: Meeting? You mean, there's no sale for hair ornaments here? Not even for fresh fish or vegetables?  
  
KAORU: Tae-san! I can't believe you're more interested in trivial things like that! There's a war going on and we shouldn't be concerened about market sales!  
  
TAE: Oh, but I do care about the war! See, I have sent my loving husband good food to share with his friends. Anyway, what is this meeting for?  
  
KAORU: It's really an imporatnt one Tae-san. The hope and salvation of Japan lies with the women!  
  
TAE: Lies with the women? Tell me all about it! (getting excited)  
  
KAORU: We have to wait for the rest of the girls to come. (looking around, sighing dejectedly to find small clusters of women around her)  
  
TAE:(noticing the dismay in Kaoru's face) Oh, they'll be here. I passed by at Megumi's and she was already finising with Sano's hand bandage.  
  
KAORU: (looking concerened) Was Sano seriously hurt in the brawl last night?  
  
TAE: Umm, well... no. But he is now...(smiles mischievously) Here comes Megumi!  
  
MEGUMI: (Grumbling to herself) Stupid Chicken Head punk! (she looks up at Kaoru) Well, what is this all about Tanuki? Spit it out! And this better be good or else...  
  
KAORU: (Sticks out her toungue at Megumi) You're starting to sound like Sano more and more. I just can't decide wheter that's a good thing or not.  
  
MEGUMI: (Rolls her eye) I can't believe after all these years, you're still an immature impatient brat. But where is everybody? I thought there will be a congreation of women here.  
  
TAE: They'll be here. (assuring Kaoru with a supportive smile) You've told Misao-chan about this one right?   
  
KAORU: I did. I was hoping that they'd come here on time. That's all.  
  
MEGUMI: Well, can't you at least give me an idea why you called up for this meeting? And you better make this real good.  
  
KAORU: I have decided that it's time the women take charge and do something about this stupid war.  
  
MEGUMI: Aren't you over re-acting? I mean, I know you missed Kenshin and all, but we just have to trust them to solve the problems of the state.   
  
KAORU: Well, it's not my fault that Sano has to stay here with the rest of Saitou's imbecile rookie cops to guard Tokyo and if I may add, not to start any street fights. How is he anyway?  
  
MEGUMI: Oh, he'll be recovering soon. Not soon enough to start another brawl at the gambling house though. Sometimes I can't believe I ever married that good for nothing drunk... but still (sighs deeply) he has a lot of good traits you know! I just wished he has enough sense not to head off to the direction of trouble.  
  
KAORU: We'll Sano's a good man. I'm just happy he's not smooching off the food at the dojo anymore (she said mumbling, looking past Megumi's shoulder)  
  
MEGUMI: (Following her gaze) Oh look! Here comes the weasel with her entourage of ninjas! (snicker to herself) Really, when will the Oniwabanshuu, ever thinhk of setting their style straight...And some of the girls form the nearby town are also here!  
  
TAE: Well, this is quite a large number of turn out. Hey, even Sae is here! (Sae approaches Tae and gives her a nice warm welcome hug!) Wouldn't you say so Kaoru? (disentangling herself from Sae's hold)  
  
KAORU: (smiling widely) I guess so Tae-san.  
  
MISAO: (running towards Kaoru with Okon and Omasu not far behind her) Kaoru-san! So nice to see you! (notices Kaoru's evil eye) What's the matter? Are we late? (Kaoru sighs but doesn't say anything) Well, speak up!  
  
MEGUMI: Are you late? Not really. I suppose I should consider giving you a gold medal for tardiness. But late? I think not.  
  
MISAO: Am I talking to you?  
  
MEGUMI: Weasel girl! Is that you're way of greeting me a nice hello?  
  
MISAO: Fox! And *is* that you're way of telling me that you've missed me?  
  
SAE: Oh my! (looking from Misao to Megumi) Is this how they normally act when they are together?  
  
KAORU: Quit it you guys! It doesn't matter if you're late...  
  
MISAO: But I couldn't find my under kimono...and I spent an hour trying to find it when i remembered Aoshi tore it last night...  
  
TAE: He did? Oh my! (blushes furiously) I've never imagined...  
  
MEGUMI: Sano does it all the time. I practically have to but a new under kimono everyday! It's not something to be surprised about Tae!  
  
SAE: (looking at Kaoru with great interest) Does Himura-san also...  
  
KAORU: (covering her ears) I will not even listen to that one! But please girls, now that everyone is here we should just start the meeting. All those in favor please raise their hands. (A sea of hands waves infront of her face and Kaoru takes both of her hands off her ears) SInce everyone is ready. I'll make the announcement.  
  
(everyone is silent, waiting for her to continue)  
  
MEGUMI: (impatiently) Well? We don't have all day Kaoru.  
  
KAORU: We have to reach an agreement with every girl here in Tokyo and Kyoto and other places to force the men to sign a peace treaty with the rebels in the highlands.  
  
MISAO: Us?  
  
KAORU: Yes us.  
  
MEGUMI: Our husbands barely listens to us. How do you expect the whole Japanese Emperial Army to listen to you?  
  
KAORU: Not just to me. But to all of us. I'm sure they'll consider what he have to tell them. Beside if they don't listen, we'll just let them suffer.  
  
TAE: Suffer how? There's nothing that we can do to let them see our point. This is for a good cause, but there is nothing cosmic about cosmetic and GLAMOUR is our only talent. (cowers at the glares received from the ninja's and from Kaoru as well) Well, not all of us anyway. But there is little that we could do to change the ongoing war. What do ordinary housewives have do force the men in signing a peace treaty. Silk kimonos? Those expensive western shoes that *I* have recently bought?   
  
SAE: Rings? Perfumes? (added, siding with her sister)  
  
KAORU: Exactly!  
  
MEGUMI: Ok, that's it. She has lost it. Can't we just write a petition to let Kenshin go home with you?  
  
KAORU: That wouldn't be fair. I get to have my husband back, but what about the other women? Even the wives of the rebels?  
  
MISAO: That's right. A few of them are here with us. They told me they are willing to try anything just to get this war over and done with!  
  
KAORU: Ok, here's what we'll do. But first I want to ask you. Answer yes or no.  
  
MEGUMI: Well, ask it! (getting slightly annoyed)  
  
KAORU: It's about our husbands, the father of your children who had been posted somewhere in Japan. Wouldn't you like to have them home?  
  
MISAO: Aoshi has been stationed at Okinawa for three whole months already. It was only nast night that he got home and later this afternoon he'll be returning there! It's horrible!  
  
TAE: My husband is with Himura-san at Kyoto. Oh, I'd love it if he'll be home soon!  
  
SAE: Yes! I would want that very much! I terribly miss my dear husband too!  
  
OKON: And Hiko was forced to give up his immense talents in pottery making and instead show his magnificent sword fighting skill to help in the war against the rebels!   
  
OMITSU: Oh, Hiko is such a hero!  
  
OKON: (looking starry eyed) Most definitely!  
  
OKON&OMITSU: We never even got the chance to say goodbye to him! (sighs deeply)  
  
MEGUMI: Min'e staying here...unfortunately, causing troubles and adding to the whitening of my dark beautiful midnight blue hair! And I wish he'd be sooner rotated out of the line and plunged into Kyoto or Yokohama. Just not anywhere near me...we'll on a second thought...  
  
KAORU: (sighing and giving Megumi a jaded look) Well, i have devised a scheme to end the war! Do I have your support?  
  
TAE: Kaoru-chan, you know you can always count on me!  
  
MISAO: Me too! I'm ready to spilt up myself right in the middle like a mackarel and give you my half!  
  
OKON: For Hiko...anything!  
  
OMITSU: For Hiko!!!  
  
SAE: Whatever you say Kaoru-chan  
  
(other girls approve and show their support)  
  
MEGUMI: Well, it seems to me that I'm the only one here with enough sense not to readily agree with you. Will you tell us about it now so I can decide!?  
  
KAORU: Ok, here's the plan. We can force our husbands to negotiate peace, Ladies, by exercising steadfast Self-Control. By Total Abstinence....  
  
MEGUMI: From what?  
  
MISAO: Yes what?  
  
KAORU: We'll you do it?  
  
MEGUMI: (held together by Okon and Omitsu as she tried to strangel Kaoru) GRRRR...JUST-SPIT-IT-OUT!!!!  
  
KAORU: (taking a deep breath) Here's the plan: Total Abstinence from SEX!  
  
(the cluster of women around her dissolves, shaking their heads, whispehring to each other, feeling sorry for the young kendo instructor who had apparently lost her mind...)  
  
  
should i continue to part 2?  
  
  
  
END NOTE:  
  
ok, that was Part I. So do you hate it? Should I just scratch the whole idea? Throw it in the recycling bin? I know, i'm starting to come off as a weird 'hentai' freak here. but what the hell. just be kind enough to review this. if you somehow feel that this is beyond sane, could you tell it in a nicer 'i'm-sorry-but-what-the-f*ck-were-you-thinking?' kind of way? I'd really appreciate it if you do! C&C's are most welcome!  
  
oh and yeah, who is tae's partner in the rk series? even in the manga?   
  
btw, is OKON and OMITSU the name of the Misao's friends at Kyoto (form the Oni) coz, I'm not sure if i used the correct names and spelling. I'd appreciate it so much if you could answer me!  
  
thanks again!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Rabukome Chapter 2

Rabukome   
  
quick note:  
  
ok, here's part two. i hope you enjoy this part. tell me what you all think ok? reviews are most welcome! and please keep them coming so i know what to do with this fic! and many thanks to anna-chan for telling me to get on with this fic and for being such a big help and supporting me with this.  
  
Also to Abby-san for informing me of the right spelling for OKON and OMASU!  
  
this fic is for my classmate sil, who played Lysistrata on our play! you go girl!  
  
now on with the fic...  
  
Rabukome  
Part II  
  
  
  
KAORU: (taking a deep breath) Here's the plan: Total Abstinence from SEX!  
  
(the cluster of women around her dissolves, shaking their heads, whispehring to each other, feeling sorry for the young kendo instructor who had apparently lost her mind...)  
  
KAORU: Wait! Where are you going! Why are you turning away! Why are you so sticken and so gloomy? What's the problem? What is this?! WAIT!!!  
  
(the crowd of women, led by Megumi and Misao, stopped dead in their tracks and turned towards her)  
  
TAE: Afraid I can't make it. (answers dejectedly) Sorry. (face the women) On with the WAR!  
  
(a loud cheer interrupted. Kaoru was aghast)  
  
SAE: Me neither! Sorry. On with the WAR!  
  
(the women shouts widly. Kaoru raise her hands to quiet down the crowd)  
  
MEGUMI: Ok, you're coming with me. (grabbing Kaoru's arm and leading her away) I may not be a pychiatrist, but I know I can pound some sense on your dulling brain! I'm really concerned about you, you know. God forbid Kenshin hears about this! (Kaoru stares at Megumi with steel blue eyes. Megumi was not going to backdown)  
  
MISAO: (getting in between Kaoru and Megumi) Oh, Kaoru-chan.... I said that I will try to do anything to get peace back and Aoshi too, but this...this is RI-DI-CU-LOUS! (screeching wildly)  
  
KAORU: (hands on her hips, glaring at Misao) This? From my little mackarel? Who was ready to spilt herself right down the middle? (she asked in an accusing tone)  
  
MISAO: Try something else! Try anything! If you say so...I'd be willing to walk through fire barefoot! But not to give up sex! There's nothing like it Kaoru!  
  
KAORU: (shakes her head and turns toward Okon and ) And the two of you?  
  
OKON: Me too! I'll walk through fire!  
  
OMASU: Me, too! Absolutely!  
  
KAORU: Utter sluts! The entire sex! I can't believe that you do not have any ounce of will-power in your body! The most famous Oni, can't live for a few days without....  
  
VOICE FROM THE CROWD: I am with Himura-san!  
  
(the crowds part and everyone turns their head to the woman who spoke ....which turns out to be non other than Saitou Tokio!)  
  
KAORU: T-tokio-san?  
  
MEGUMI: Tokio? You mean Saitou's wife? (remembers Sano's reaction upong hearing that Saitou has a wife and grins wickeldy) Sano ought to see this.   
  
MISAO: She looks...well, I never thought Saitou could snag someone as gorgeous as her with his attitude problem and all...  
  
(a shy older looking Tsubame comes out from behind Tokio, followed by older version of Ayame)   
  
TSUBAME: I asked her to come here with me Kaoru-chan and Ayame too.  
  
TAE: But girls, you are too young to join in this...um...er scandalous meeting! (Sae elbows her sharply, but Tae ignores it)  
  
SAE: Too young my dears. But Tokio-san, I never knew you were here in Tokyo.  
  
TOKIO: Well, (she said rather coldly) I am here. And I'am willing to listen to Kaoru-chan. I have had enough of this silly war. And Saitou won't just give fighting up, even if he's back is killing him. And as for Tsubame and Ayame, they should speak for themselves.   
  
(Kaoru has suddendly developed a headache, but not as worse as Megumi's)  
  
TSUBAME: Yahiko and I are already old enough. He is old enough to join the war, is he not?  
  
TAE: I believe, he is in his 18th summer. And we all know that the two of you are already engaged...but...(she puts a hand in her mouth) you and young Yahiko...have you?   
  
SAE: Did you....  
  
TSUBAME: ...(nods slowly, her face bright red)   
  
(realization hits Tae and she began to pale and was about to faint when Sae caught her)  
  
TSUBAME: (blushing wildly) But... Tae-san... you told me you did it to when you were young and even before you were engaged...and so did Kaoru-chan with Ken-san and Megumi-sensei with Sano-kun and even Misao and Aoshi!  
  
(the four women blushes, chokes, sputters and coughs respectively, then they all turned towards Ayame, who was having a long distance relationship with Yutaro)  
  
AYAME: Oh, no! (blushes) Not yet. Yutaro and I have been very good.  
  
(a collective sighs of relief was heard)  
  
TOKIO: Well, now. Since all of this have been cleared up. I'd like to hear what Himura-san has to say.  
  
(silence as all turned towards Kaoru. Kaoru clears her throat uncertainly and looks at Tokio who nods at her silently asking her to continue on)  
  
KAORU: (takes a deep breath) As I was saying, we can froce the men into signing a peace treaty with the rebels in the highland by refusing to go to bed with them, and agreeing only so when they have the copy of the peace treaty in their hands and show it to all of us.  
  
MEGUMI: Fine! Suppose that we did, as much as possible abstain from...from what you said -- not that we would -- could something as silly as that bring peace any sooner?  
  
KAORU: Certainly! Here's what we do. We wear our most seductive perfumes, paint and powder ourselves, wear our skimpiest kimono's, stay inside and then show them what we got.  
  
MISAO: Seduce them? I'm great with that! In fact there was this one time when Aoshi was....  
  
MEGUMI: (turning towards her) Will you please shut up!! We're trying to listen here!  
  
MISAO: hmph! (pouting and crossing her arms agains her chest)  
  
KAORU: (sighs deeply, this was not what she was planning) They'll snap to attention. And go absolutely mad to love us -- but we won't let them. We will Abstain. I imagine that they will conclude a treaty rather quickly.  
  
MEGUMI: And what if the men just leave us flat?  
  
KAORU: Sano? Leave you? C'mmon Megumi, you're much smarter than that! And we can always take things into our own hands if they EVER try to leave us. (she announces with a dabgerous glint in her eyes)  
  
MISAO: Well, suppose they take us by force and drag us off into the bedroom against our wills?  
  
KAORU: (opens her mouth, about to answer when Misao interrupts her)  
  
MISAO: Wait...on a second thought. I KNOW i can handle that and still have fun at it. Next question please!  
  
KAORU: For the benefit of others Misao, I should answer that qustion...well, we could hang on unto the door!  
  
TAE: Suppose they beat us?  
  
KAORU: Tae-san, I really think your sweet husband is not capable of doing that. But we can always give in if that is the case. But be nasty about it. Be bad sports -- men don't enjoy this forced affairs. So make them suffer. Don't worry, they'll stop soon enough.   
  
TOKIO: She's right, a married man wants harmony -- cooperation, not rape.  
  
MISAO: (wisphering to Megumi) You think she's talking through experience?  
  
MEGUMI: Misao...(she said in a warning voice, she clears her throat) Well, I suppose so....(taking a deep breath) If both of you (looking from Tokio to Kaoru) approve of this...then so do we!  
  
TAE: We do?  
  
MISAO: Ofcourse we do. Think about the ways we could make our men squirm for a change...then in no time peace will be back and so would our normal lives.  
  
(a cheer from the women errupts. Kaoru beams)  
  
KAORU: Thank you so much Tokio-san, if it weren't for you...  
  
TOKIO: Oh, don't mind it. They are our concern. Even if they are too thick-headed to see that. But we'll bring them around. This is just as good as timing as it is. I heard from Saitou that the men in the battle station are given a week of to return to their homes and then they'll be reposted to another place.   
  
KAORU: Well, then it's settled. We'll be giving the men the time of their lives. One in which they will never forget and make them remember not to take another sword against themselves.  
  
MISAO: Wait, don't we get to swear an oath?  
  
MEGUMI: An oath? This isn't some secret ninja society. What do we need an oath for? I say it's a waste of time.  
  
MISAO: But the oath is important, without it we will easily succumb to the temptation to go against what we have agreed upon. The oath strengthens our resolves. It will serve as a bind for all of us.  
  
TAE: I agree we should take an oath.  
  
MEGUMI: Fine! Bur what kind of an oath are we supposed to swear then?  
  
KAORU: Well, I heard that in some foreign country soldiers slaughter a sheep and put the blood on the shield and swore by it...  
  
MEGUMI: (giving Kaoru a superior 'you're-just-a-kid-look') Kaoru, you do not swear an oath for peace on a shield and killing a sheep! (shrudders at the thought)  
  
KAORU: Then what do you suggest we do?  
  
MEGUMI: Oh, I can tell you. First we should have a big jar here in the middle. Then we slaughter a jug of the finest sake and swear a mighty oath by it.  
  
MISAO: Sano's influence I bet.  
  
OKON: Oh, it's perfect! We just have the thing for that! (produces a jar of sake) This, form Hiko-sama!  
  
OMASU: (produces a enormous jug) And from the hands of the master himself!  
  
KAORU: Great! We start the oath taking immediately!  
  
OKON: (fingering the jug Okon had put on the ground) Oh! What a tremendous display of pottery!  
  
OMASU: A girl could get a glow just holding a jug like this! (sighs)  
  
MEGUMI: (rolls her eyes) This is turning out like a Hiko exhibit of pottery!  
  
MISAO: Please! Don't remind me! We have hosted several of that affair, from the bright idea of this two girls and now, Hiko wants it to be an annual event in Kyoto!  
  
KAORU: Can we just start this? (holds the sake with Megumi and pour it in the jug)  
  
MEGUMI: I hope Sano hasn't heard about this. This jug of sake is now official in danger of being chugged down in five seconds flat.  
  
OKON: But, do remember Megumi dear, that Hiko still holds the record of a two seconds flat.  
  
MEGUMI: How can I forget? The lousy day that they competed in drinking session. It almost caused my marriage!   
  
MISAO: Cut it out you two. Now, what do we do next?  
  
KAORU: (holds a cup and takes pours sake from the jug) Alright ladies, repeat after me!  
  
(the women clears their throat and readied themselves to take the oath)  
  
KAORU: I WILL WITHHOLD ALL RIGHTS OF ACCESS OR ENTRANCE  
FROM EVERY HUSBAND, LOVER OR CASUAL ACQUAINTANCE  
WHO MOVES IN MY DIRECTION WITH AN ERECTION  
  
MISAO: who m-moves in my dirction in erection -- oh, Kaoru...where do you get such ideas! Maybe we'd better...  
  
KAORU: I WILL CREATE, IMPERFORATE IN CLOISTERED CHASTITY  
A NEWER, MORE GLAMOROUS, SUPREMELY SEDUCTIVE ME  
AND FIR MY HUSBAND'S DESIRE WITH MOLTEN ALLURE  
BUT REMAIN TO HIS ADVANCES ICILY PURE  
IF HE SHOULD FORCE ME TO SHARE THE CONNUBIAL COUCH  
I REFUSE TO RETURN HIS STROKE WITH THE TEENIEST TWITCH.  
I WILL NOT LIFT MY SLIPPERS TO TOUCH THE TATCH  
OR SUBMIT SLOPING PRONE IN A HANG DOG CROUCH  
IF I THIS OATH MAINTAIN  
MAY I DRING THIS GLORIOUS SAKE  
BUT IF I SLIP OR FALTER  
LET ME DRINK WATER!  
  
(After having finished their oath, the women take turns in drinking form the cup)  
  
MEGUMI: (to KAORU as she drank form the cup) Not too much Kaoru-san, remember the time you drank too much?  
  
MISAO: Annd you know how anxious we are to become allies and friends. Not to mention staying friends.  
  
  
  
end part 2. part 3 anybody?  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Ok, i've messed up aristophanes work. I didn't re-write the oath, because i cannot top that, nor can i change it and still have the same meaning afterwards. so to be safe, i borrowed it.   
  
c&c's will be very much appreciated!  
  
thanks again!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Rabukome Chapter 3: When The Men Get Hom...

Rabukome 3  
When the Men Get Home  
  
Quick note:  
  
Hey people! Thanks for still being here! I just want to ask you for some advice. What title should I give to Chapter2?   
And I'd like to thank everyone who has been patient with me with this fic and with "A Date...". I would definitely finish them,   
I'm just waiting for some inspiration to hit me!  
  
Anyway on with the fic!  
  
And please continue with you reviews and c&c's. I appreciate all of them.  
  
  
  
Rabukome Chapter 3  
When the Men Gets Home  
  
  
We see them trudging along a hillside heading for Tokyo, some of them looking filthy and haggard. Most are carrying heavy equipment across their shoulders. Some of them are carrying hot pots and other kitchen utensils that they have used. Of course our heroes are still looking oh so fine with Saitou heading them and Hike just a step behind, obviously not wanting to acknowledge Saitou's higher rank over him. The men have traveled all across Japan and have gathered men to take a much needful few day rest and to re-group and finally finish those damn rebels and get on with their lives...which basically was not much different anyway. Fighting, drinking and basically stupid stuff men do, but of course, they sorely miss their number one source and entertainment and life, though they'd never dare admit it, the women.  
  
  
SAITOU: Forward! Swiftly, keep them in step! Oh, you children! Forget your shoulders. I know that the equipment are heavy -- but duty boy! Duty!  
  
YAHIKO: (cringed at the booming voice) what's his problem? I'd like to give him a share of my load! He's the only guy who's not carrying anything at all! Well, except for his katana, which he would never let out of his sight...  
  
SEIJIROU: (laughs his usual laugh and scratches his head) Um, ano Yahiko, you shouldn't speak so loud, you know Saitou-san might hear you and we'll get into trouble.  
  
KENSHIN: He's right de gozaru, we shouldn't complain much. Saitou has been working hard these past few weeks; it's hard to command a whole army to fight for...  
  
HIKO: (bops him in the head) Shut up baka deshi. Don't you dare give him all the credit. Never forget that I, Hiko Soijirou, the greatest master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu, am still the moving force in the recent success of the government's effort to extinguish the uprising rebellion. I am a silent worker indeed.  
  
CHOU: Silent worker, all right. Don't feel ashamed to announce it to the whole world...not just to the whole troop. (Mutters darkly)  
  
OKINA: I am the oldest here, therefore, I should be leading this army, when it comes to experience and strength and looks, I always come first.  
  
HIKO: I beg to disagree old man...  
  
OKINA: Who you callin' old man?  
  
HIKO: Why, not the skinny boy with my baka-deshi definitely, who else you baka?  
  
OKINA: (lunges forward, but Aoshi was quick to grab him and settle him down) Why you arrogant...let go of me Aoshi, lemme at him, lemme at him (crack)...oooh, my back.... my back....  
  
AOSHI: (silently help him sit in a corner, shaking his head) I don't need to baby-sit you Okina.  
  
OKINA: Baby-sit me? Why if my darling Misao had been allowed to join this troop she would've taken good care of me...  
  
AOSHI: (cold blue eyes sudendly flare up) This is not a place for my wife. She stays home, don't even think about writing her a letter suggesting that she comes here.   
  
OKINA: Selfish! When we get home, you have her all to yourself while poor old me just get to peak once in a while and.  
  
(Bam! Aoshi hits him in the head. Aoshi walks away, shaking his head leaving Okina in the ground. Meanwhile not far from them...)  
  
YAHIKO: I'm not skinny! I've been hearing that for the past few weeks from you, you drunkard....  
  
KENSHIN: (in a warning voice) Yahiko, he's still my shishou and....  
  
HIKO: I told you to shut up, didn't I?  
  
KENSHIN: Hai, hai! Demo...  
  
HIKO: (tossed him a jug) Go get me some sake boy. Talking with this idiots are making me thirsty.  
  
KENSHIN: (catching the jug) Demo....  
  
HIKO: Now! Or I'm going to...  
  
CHOU: Ah, Himura, don't let him bully you!  
  
HIKO: And who are you? (He asked leering over at Chou)  
  
CHOU: I am...  
  
HIKO: (with a wave of his hand) I don't care who you are. (Turns at Kenshin) well, where's my sake?  
  
KENSHIN: Saitou forbid anyone to bring any...  
  
HIKO: NANI? He forbids? How dare he! How dare he...(walks towards Saitou, but Kenshin immediately stops him) Let go baka deshi...  
  
KENSHIN: Iya! Shishou, you can't start a brawl right here, where almost on our way home and well, we shouldn't be fighting with each other.  
  
SAITOU: What is this all about? (looks at Kenshin and Hiko, takes a long hard drag and blows smoke on Kenshin's face) I knew, you'd be trouble. (looks at Yahiko, Aoshi, Okina, Seijirou and Cho who had lain the equipment they were carrying on the ground) And, what's this? Pick up your stuff men, we need to be in Tokyo before night fell. (looks directly at Kenshin) Kami knows what your little wife had done this time.  
  
KENSHIN: Nani? (his violet eyes widen and look dangerously at Saitou) What do you mean by that Saitou?  
  
CHOU&YAHIKO: Ya! Kenshin! Show 'em who's boss....  
  
(Saitou toss them a death glare and they instantly grab their equipment and haul them over their shoulders)  
  
SAITOU: You mean you haven't heard yet? Himura-san, the little she devil, has gathered all the women, your wives, to be exact and declared that they will abstain from sex unless we sign a peace treaty with the rebels.  
  
Everybody gasps and looks at Kenshin strangely. Kenshin turns red up to the very roots of his hair)  
  
KENSHIN: Ka-kao....   
  
OKINA: Oh, that one. Kaoru-chan is real spunky, don't ya think? (he sighs) But I heard that Misao and Okon and Omasu have joined her too....such tragedy really!  
  
AOSHI: (eyes slitted) Misao? How did you know about that one Okina?  
  
OKINA: I have spies Shinamori. Anyway, I do like the idea. I'm taking it as a challenge. Do you really think that the girls can go on without us?  
  
YAHIKO: Without you, I'm sure they'll be ok.  
  
SAITOU: We'll I'm never surprised at what your women would do, it's just one dammed thing after another.  
  
OKINA: (looking at Kenshin) I'm sure you never thought your wife as anything more than a home grown bother. But now, I can almost hear Saitou calling her a National Disaster!  
  
YAHIKO: Hey watch your mouth!  
  
KENSHIN: Kaoru is never a bother...well, um, sometimes, that she is, de gozaru....but I'm sure she had the best intention in mind. She just wants peace.  
  
OKINA: (puts his hands over his heart) Oh, but what a catastrophe --MATRIARCHY! Is the name of the game!  
  
CHOU: (asking Aoshi) Is he always like that?   
  
HIKO: I knew your wife was worth it. I mean, who else would've thought 'bout that idea. Well, if anything, marrying her is the least of the baka things that you have done. Now I can't wait to see what will happen to you (looks at Kenshin meaningfully)  
  
KENSHIN: Shishou!  
  
SAITOU: Now you fool, speed is the word. To Tokyo on the double! Once we're there, we'll pile the logs and surround them and show them who's boss.  
  
KENSHIN: We shouldn't be too hasty about this. The women are only looking out for our safety.  
  
HIKO&SAITOU: Shut up!  
  
SAITOU: I'll teach those women not to trouble us!  
  
YAHIKO: (pointing at something, getting all excited) Hey look! Isn't that Tae, Sae, Okon and Omasu heading a group of women over there!  
  
OKINA: Oh, my Okon, my Omasu....but where is my lovely Misao?  
  
SAITOU: The last lap of our journey, and I have to greet it with dismay!   
  
CHOU: Heh! The danger does not deter me!  
  
YAHIKO: Danger? How could a bunch of women be dangerous?  
  
AOSHI: (observing the women about to head their way) ....  
  
SAITOU: Alright men, uphill, all the way! And please, would somebody find a jackass to drag these logs to the top.   
  
OKINA: I ache to join the fracas sir and my shoulders are aching to stop. (answers sarcastically) But Yahiko-chan is young and no doubt has strong bones, ne?  
  
YAHIKO: (shakes a fist at him) Why you....  
  
SAITOU: (kicks the logs over at Seijirou and Yahiko) Bring 'em up. Upward and onward men! And keep those firepots burning or we're making this trip again, from the start.  
  
MEN: With a puff.... (pfffff) and a cough (chorus of coughing can be heard)   
  
YAHIKO: (over the smoke) The smoke! I'll choke! Turn it off! Turn the goddamn thing off!  
  
CHOU: Damned embers! It should be muzzled. I bet Saitou is enjoying this. Look at him, he's too tall and he's not in anyway bent from carrying all these stuff, the smoke can never even reach his eyes!  
  
OKINA: There ought to be a law for old men who ranks as hero to be treated with respect. Don't you think so Hiko-san?  
  
HIKO: (with a feral growl) And what do you mean by that?  
  
OKINA: N-nnothinhg. (to Kenshin) He has problems controlling his anger, doesn't he?  
  
KENSHIN: (nods emphatically)  
  
OKINA: There's lave in my pretty eyelashes!  
  
CHOU: My lids are oxidized!  
  
YAHIKO: My brows are braised!  
  
AOSHI: (in his zen-master voice) These ashes are volcanoes in disguise....  
  
SAITOU: (ignoring the complaints) This way men. I just hate it working with a bunch of babies! Don't be stopped by cinders, you've gone through much more than that.  
  
YAHIKO: You can say that again!  
  
ENISHI: (finally appearing from the smoke) Drat the smoke! Enough is enough! I can't see my nee-san! Nee-san! Nee-san....(disappears from the smoke)  
  
Everyone sweat drops.  
  
YAHIKO: That wasn't....  
  
AOSHI: Was that....  
  
KENSHIN: Enishi? I...I have no idea. Saitou, is Enishi part of this troop?  
  
SAITOU: Yes! 4th battalion at Okinawa! You got any problem with that?   
  
KENSHIN: But he...he's....  
  
AOSHI: Strange.  
  
SAITOU: And all of you are not?  
  
(that shut them all)  
  
YAHIKO: Someday, when that insufferable man is too old to even stand up, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind and let him have it.  
  
SAITOU: I'd be waiting boy. But for now, we have to settle the women. They have to be ready to cook dinner for us and wash our clothes. When that does not work, we burn the damned door down and smoke the women into submission.  
  
(Psychotic laughter echoes in all direction)  
  
CHOU: Oh man, the smoke has seeped way into his brain....  
  
AOSHI: Is there a general in the house? We're having logistical problems.  
  
OKINA: You mean psychologist?  
  
HIKO: That seems acceptable. Good. Down with the load....ouch, that smoke! Sonofabitch!  
  
YAHIKO: (snickering) Well, that's score one for me! (hurries into Kenshin's side before Hiko sees clearly again)  
  
(Everyone settle down)  
  
CHOU: That's better. The pressure's off. I got my backbone back.  
  
SAITOU: And who ordered you to take a rest?  
  
KENSHN: Why don't we all take a vote Saitou? That way, there wouldn't be any arguments.  
  
HIKO: I'm glad that he learned something from me.  
  
KENSHIN: (eyeing his shishou) All in favor that we take a rest, raise your hands.  
  
(Everyone raises both their left and right hands)  
  
HIKO: Majority. Democracy calls Saitou.  
  
SAITOU: Fine! You go and rest, I'll go ahead and see what I can do about the women. (pointing to some of the men) You, and you and you. You're going with me!  
  
YAHIKO: Poor guys, I feel sorry for them.  
  
SAITOU: I'm leaving this bunch with you Shinamori.   
  
OKINA: But why him? Why not me?   
  
HIKO: Why not me?  
  
SAITOU: He's almost as cold and nasty as I am. I go with him, but let me just tell you that I do not trust anyone of you. (walks away)  
  
HIKO: Feh! Let him have his way. I am still the greatest in terms of looks and strength (he eyes Okina) and Kami forbid if I hear anything form you.  
  
YAHIKO: Sano's lucky, he doesn't have to deal with men whose egos are as big as Japan!  
  
KENSHIN: He's dealing with Megumi-dono.  
  
YAHIKO: Uh, right. I guess he's not that lucky. Hey, you think busu is still on her right mind?  
  
KENSHIN: (laughs) I guess she had gone to the extreme this time. But, it's not her fault, you know her. She just follows her heart and thinks of what is the best for everyone. And does it in her own style. I can't wait to see her...  
  
YAHIKO: (rolls his eyes) That's too sappy! Excuse me while I go and puke....  
  
(The men starts cooking their dinner and smoke rises to every direction floating towards Tae and the rest)  
  
TAE: The girls' form back there we're really easy to talk with. They have agreed almost instantly.  
  
SAE: And the wife of the rebels up in the mountain had already agreed with us. The men would be surprised. They will never know what hit them.  
  
OKON: What's this? Soot? And smoke as well? I may be all tired and a little out of training, but this might mean fire.  
  
OMASU: Things look dark, girls; we'll have to dash.  
  
(They move ahead, considerably faster pace that the men)  
  
TAE: Speed! Celerity! Save our sorority from arson!  
  
SAE: Combustion and exhaustion.  
  
OKON: Don't let our sisterhood shrivel to blisterhood!  
  
OMASU: We're late girls, Kaoru-chan and the rest are already waiting for us.  
  
TAE: Well, filling my pitcher was absolute torture. The fountain in town is already crowded with the women, it's a good thing we had brought this with us and filled them up again. We can turn off the fire immediately.  
  
(Noticing for the first time the men, still busy at their firepots.)  
  
TAE: Hold it! What have we here?  
  
SAE: They say that you can't catch true-blue patriots red-handed. Well, these are authentic degenerates...male.  
  
OKON: And, oh! Over there is Hiko!  
  
OMASU: (Sighing) Oh, I can see him!  
  
TAE: Girls...  
  
OKON&OMASU: Oh, we understand! (harden their resolves and stood up straight, their chins up and their foreheads proud)  
  
(The men notice the group of men in front of them. They line up, ready to defend their camp)  
  
CHOU: Ooops. Female troops. This could be upsetting. I didn't expect a flood of reserves!  
  
AOSHI: They are no threat to us, continue with you duty men.  
  
OKINA: Ah, my Okon and Omasu! And Sae and Tae too....  
  
TAE: No threat? Really, Aoshi-sama you should know better.  
  
SAE: And we're merely a spearhead Chou-san. If our numbers stun you, then wait until you see all of us gathered at Tokyo.  
  
OKON: We represent just one percent of one percent of This Woman's Army.  
  
KENSHIN: Hello Tae-dono, Sae-dono, Okon and Omasu. How are you?  
  
OKON: We're fine Himura-san, but I'm afraid that you are a member of the men, and well, no matter how kind and polite you are, we should not give you nay special treatment.   
  
KENSHIN: I understand. I chose not to partake in this.   
  
HIKO: (rolls his eyes and bops Kenshin in the head) Baka-deshi. Can't you see that these are our enemies! Ignore them, they don't know what they are doing and they are certainly stepping off the limits. Not a very lady-like thing to do, if I may add.  
  
KENSHIN: I'm sorry shishou, but is it not against your teaching not to fight with hepless women? (shrugs his shoulders and settle down on beside the pot to cook his food)  
  
OKON: Never been confronted with such backtalk, Hiko-san? Can't allow it. Somebody pick up a log and pulverize that brass.  
  
OMASU: Any volunteers?  
  
AOSHI: Put down the pitcher girls. We mean you no harm.  
  
CHOU: Yeah, plus we know what your planning. Let me tell you, you won't stand an hour without our loving!  
  
TAE: Is that so?  
  
OKINA: We know that you are of the weaker sex, and we'll be ready to take good care of you. I small jab would do so much, so lets just be friends and try not to make war...let's make love instead. *wink, wink, wink*  
  
OKON: Then step right up. Have a jab at me old man. Free shot! (advancing to meet them)  
  
CHOU: (advancing reluctantly to meet her) Shut up! Don't talk that way! You don't know what you're asking.  
  
OMASU: I dare you to lay a finger on her.  
  
CHOU: I'll lay you with a fistful. Er...any specific threats?  
  
TAE: I'll crop your lungs and...and reap you bite by bite....  
  
SAE: (gaining confidence) And...and leave no balls on the body for other bitches to gnaw! (turns red)  
  
YAHIKO: Sae! I can't believe you just said that!  
  
HIKO: No creature's so lost to shame as a woman who speaks that way!  
  
OKON: Up with the water, ladies. Pitchers at the ready, place!  
  
CHOU: Why more water. More sedition?  
  
OMASU: Why the fire, you walking boneyard? Self-cremation?  
  
OKINA: We brought this fire to ignite your passion...  
  
TAE: I brought this water to douse your pyre. Tit for tat!  
  
AOSHI: You'll douse our fire? Nonsense!  
  
SAE: You'll see, when the facts soak in.  
  
CHOU: I have the torch right here. Perhaps I should barbecue you.  
  
OKON: If you have any soap, I could give you a bath...  
  
OKINA: (digs deep into his pocket) Oh, I do! I do! Just what I need!  
  
OMASU: Why Okina, no bath for six years...I can tell. We might quell your spirit...but not your smell.  
  
OKINA: (pales, gasps and looks totally heart broken. Yahiko' laughter rings loudly in his ears)  
  
CHOU: A bath from those polluted hands! (jabs in to save grace)  
  
OKON: Hands, pure enough for a blushing young bridegroom.  
  
AOSHI: Enough of that insolent lip.  
  
OMASU: It's merely freedom of speech!  
  
AOSHI: (finally loosing his cool) I'll stop that screeching!  
  
TAE: You're all helpless outside of the jury box.  
  
ENISHI: (From out of nowhere, urging the men) Burn, fire, burn! (maniacal laughter and then disappears through a fog)  
  
KENSHIN:......  
  
(The women empty their pitchers over the men)  
  
SEIJOURO: (uses his speed and gets the hell out of the place)  
  
SAE: And cauldron bubble.  
  
(The men are soaked wet)  
  
MEN: Arrghhhh!  
  
OKON: Goodness! What seems to be the trouble? Too hot?  
  
AOSHI: Hot? Hell, stop it! What do you think you're doing?  
  
SAE: If you must know, I'm gardening! Perhaps you'll bloom.  
  
CHOU: Perhaps I'll fall right off the vine! I'm withered, frozen, shaking....  
  
OMASU: Of course! But, providentially, you brought along your smudgepot. That sap should rise eventually.  
  
(The men retreat in utter defeat. Kenshin is still dry and eating his dinner, everyone glares at him so he offers his food, which Hiko snatched automatically.)  
  
KENSHIN: (to himself) This should be interesting. I really can't wait to get home.   
  
YAHIKO: Fire and Female! Let me tell you, they are a bad combination.  
  
OKINA: (Seeming to get over his embarrassment) Spontaneous combustion of lust! Just you wait and see young boy!  
  
AOSHI: And there is the Gift of Women: Moral Chaos!  
  
  
  
  
ok, that's all the craziness I can think of right about now. I hope there are still people reading this....this....I uh, i can't describe it. Anyway, reviews please! Should i still continue on? chapter 4, anyone?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Rabukome Chapter 4: When Confronting the...

Rabukome  
Chapter 4 - When Confronting the Tanuki  
  
author's notes:  
minna, I hope that you're still with me in this fic, I'm so sorry if it's taking me this long to finish the story. we are nearing our finals week and I'm super busy trying to get all our past lessons into my dulling brain. anyway, I'm supposed to be reviewing, but I figured I needed a break, and so I decided against my schedule and write this bit. I hope you enjoy this one. ja!  
  
  
Chapter 4  
Confronting the Tanuki  
  
The drenched men slowly made their way towards Tokyo town proper as they were expected to report to Saitou immediately as soon as they arrive. They had tried to deny the defeat and were mostly in the state of denial. Hiko had been grumbling all the while, something about teaching women on how to treat a real man. Shinamori didn't look too happy either. Yahiko had managed to get his clothes to dry, well almost. Most of them were still dripping wet and they were expecting a brief "Ahou" form Saitou and then they would be all dismissed. It was a particularly big blow to them when they found a crowd of unruly, noisy men at the door of the police station, with a very, very angry Saitou shouting orders.  
  
SAITOU: (upon seeing them) Ahou! What happened to all of you? Fell on a puddle?  
  
AOSHI: (giving him a cold stare) No. What is going on here? (ignoring the question)  
  
SAITOU: No? You all look like hell. I asked you a question Shinamori, didn't I? What sort of mindless activity did you decide to do that you came here half an hour late?  
  
AOSHI: We had a...run in.   
  
SAITOU: I see, with the females again. No doubt.  
  
AOSHI: Yes, them. I asked a question too didn't I? (challenging him)  
  
SAITOU: Oh, about this. (sweeping his arm around the men trying to get into the station) Himura Tanuki is holding a legion of women inside and is refusing to open the door. Do you have any idea how dangerous your wife is?  
  
KENSHIN: (smiling) Aa. That she is, de gozaru. (trying to peer inside, smiling only after catching a glimpse of Kaoru standing by the window, her back to him) Is she with the rest of the girls?  
  
SAITOU: You mean the Fox, the Weasel and the whole other herd of idiotic women?   
  
Everyone nodded   
  
SAITOU: Yes. They are all inside.   
  
YAHIKO: And why are they here?  
  
SAITOU: Trying on silk kimonos of different colors and designs. (Yahiko glares at him and Saitou lets out a suffered sigh) Apparently, Tanuki has the gift of women...Moral chaos and had managed to share it with the rest of the population.   
  
HIKO: Meaning, she's holding the station and you can't do anything about it? I, a true master of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu, duly invested with extraordinary powers to protect the State in the present emergency, will solve this.  
  
Hiko gets within the immediate vicinity, opens his mouth to say something but is instantly drenched form head to toe as someone from inside threw a pitcher of water at him.  
  
OKINA: (smiling slyly) Oh that's a great job...  
  
HIKO: YARUSENAI!!!!! MY MANTLE!!! MY HAIR!!! They ruined it!!!  
  
CHOU: (whispering to himself) My reputation....  
  
Everyone turns their back and ignores him.  
  
SAITOU: (looking at Kenshin) Why don't you get her to open the door. I'm sure she'll warm up to you. You haven't seen her for what? Three months?  
  
KENSHIN: Iie. I believe that even I can't control Kaoru's decision. Besides, I have no wish of taking her out forcedly. (he said turning, watching with Hiko with undeniable satisfaction.) And, I like to see you top that...(nodding at the direction of an enraged Hiko, being held by dozens of men as he tries to get into the door)  
  
YAHIKO: That ought to teach Hiko a lesson.   
  
CHOU: Which is?  
  
AOSHI: (quietly) Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned.  
  
EVERYONE: Oh.... (nodding in understanding)  
  
SAITOU: (throwing Kenshin a disgusted look) Fine. (turns toward the men holding on to Hiko) Get him outta here. (shouts at another batch as the first troop drag Hiko out of the way) Well, no profit in standing around. Bring the crowbars! I'll jack these women back on their pedestals....  
  
MEN: And into the BEDROOMS!!!!  
  
Loud cheering from everyone. Kenshin stands back, watching with mild curiosity. He has only eyes for one girl and she is still inside.   
  
SAITOU: Faster you jackass! Wipe that thirst off your face. I said crowbars!  
  
Several dozens of men with crowbars from a line in front of the locked door.  
  
SAITOU: All right men, all together. Shove those bars underneath the gate and HEAVE! (Grabbing a crowbar) I'll take this side. And now, lets root them out men. ROOT them out! One...two...  
  
The door suddenly burst open, disclosing Kaoru. She is perfectly composed and bears her wooden shinai. Saitou and the rest of his men fall back in consternation.  
  
KAORU: Why the moving equipment? I'm quite well motivated, thank you and here I am. Frankly, you don't need crowbars nearly as much as brains.  
  
OMASU: (squeezing in beside Hiko, holding a pitcher) Is Hiko-chan all right?  
  
SAITOU: (barking) He's fine. (turning at Kaoru) And brains? O name of infamy. Somebody get me a policeman. Arrest that woman!  
  
Kenshin snaps into attention.  
  
KAORU: (brandishing her shinai as someone approach her) If he lays a finger at me, he'll rue the day he joined the force.  
  
The man backs down. Kenshin relaxes immediately, a smile lingering on his face.  
  
SAITOU: What's this -- retreat? Never! Take her on the flank! (The first man hangs back, Saitou garbs another man) Help him! Will the two of you kindly tie her up!  
  
Kenshin eyes slowly turn into amber, watching the two men with keenness. Saitou shoves the them towards Kaoru. Misao suddenly appears with her bunch of kunais. Aoshi suddenly gets interested.  
  
MISAO: If you so much as touch her, I'll stomp the shit right out of you!  
  
CHOU: (To Aoshi) Pretty scary.  
  
YAHIKO: (nodding thoughtfully) Colorful vocabulary too.  
  
AOSHI:....  
  
The two men run back to their group.  
  
SAITOU: Kuso! Shameless! Where's another cop? (grabs another cop within his range and propels him towards Misao) Handcuff her first. Can't stand a foul-mouthed female!  
  
OKINA: My Misao! Don't touch her you....you...  
  
Aoshi watch them with his cold blue eyes, if the cop had seen his look he would've back down on his own. He starts to go towards Misao when Megumi, holding a real nasty looking syringe steps into the scene.  
  
MEGUMI: If you lay a finger on her, (looks at the poor guy as fox ears suddenly sprouts) you won't be able to stop the swelling! (foxy laughter)  
  
The third guy dodges at her swing and runs back at the group.  
  
SAITOU: Now what? Where's an officer? (pushing a fourth officer towards Megumi) Apprehend that woman! I'll see that somebody stays to take the blame!)  
  
Tae and Sae emerge from inside carrying a huge pot followed by Okon and Omasu.  
  
OKON: If you go near that girl....  
  
OMASU: I'll rip the hair....  
  
TAE: Out of your head!  
  
SAE: Ha! Take that!  
  
The fourth officer retreats hurriedly.  
  
SAITOU: What a colossal mess! Tokyo's finest -- finished! (shouts at his men) Now, men a little courage...or I'll have your heads at my dinner table... Reform that thin red line. NOW! (he roars and the men quickly line up) Ready? CHARGE! (He pushes ahead of them)  
  
KAORU: I warn you. We have four battalions behind us!   
  
YAHIKO: She's bluffing right....  
  
KAORU: Full-armed combatant infantry women, trained from cradle....  
  
CHOU: Yup, bluffing all right....  
  
KAORU: MOBILIZE THE RESERVES! ( a horde of women, armed with every imaginable household articles, begins to pour out from the station)  
  
YAHIKO: O - kay. Definitely not a bluff. Have you seen so many females in your whole life acting like total Neanderthals?  
  
OKINA: Oh, I'm so proud! Look, there's Okon looking like a total warrior, and Misao and Omasu and see, even sweet little Tsubame....  
  
YAHIKO: WHAT? (looks around and sees Tsubame with a pitcher in hand) I...am...going...to...  
  
(Yahiko faints and falls flat on the ground. Kenshin is quick to take him up)  
  
YAHIKO: UHHH...tell me this isn't happening....Busu....I'll get her for this.....  
  
KAORU: Onward, you ladies form the kitchen! Forward, you market-discount crazy militia, you battle hardened bargain hunters, old sales campaigners, grocery veterans. You troop of the breadline, doughgirls....INTO THE FRAY! Show them no mercy! Push! Jostle! Shove! Call them nasty names....(whispering) Don't be lady like!  
(The women charge and rout Saitou's troop in short order) Fall back -- don't strip the enemy! The day is ours!(the women obey and the men run off left. Saitou, dazed, is left muttering to himself)  
  
SAITOU: Gross ineptitude. A sorry day for the Force.  
  
KAORU: Of course. What did you expect? Were not slaves; we're freeborn Women and when we're scorned , we're full of fury. Never underestimate the Power of a Woman.  
  
SAITOU: Power? You mean capacity.  
  
AOSHI: We should have remembered the proverb: The lower the tavern, the higher the dungeon.  
  
YAHIKO: HUH?  
  
OKINA: (sarcastic) Why cast your pearls before a swine. I know you're a civil servant now, but don't over do it.  
  
HIKO: Have you forgotten the bath they gave us -- in public....  
  
CHOU: fully dressed....  
  
YAHIKO: totally soapless?  
  
One of the men blow at Sae who dodges and raise her pitcher  
  
SAE: I might point out that lifting one's hand against a neighbor is scarcely civilized behavior --   
TAE: And entails, for the lifter, a black eye.  
  
TSUBAME: I'm really peaceful by nature, compulsively inoffensive -- a perfect doll. My ideal is a well bred repose that doesn't even stir up dust...(swinging the pitcher) unless some no-good, lowlife tries to get into trouble with me and gets my dander up!  
  
  
YAHIKO: Oh, Kaoru! What have you done?  
  
OKINA: Oh my! What is the use of this constant abuse? How do we deal with this female zoo? Is there no solution to Total Immersion (eyeing the pitcher closely) What can a poor man do?  
  
HIKO: (to Saitou) Scrutinize those women! Scour their dispositions. Masculine honor demands this affair to be probed to the bottom! (to Kenshin) I knew she was trouble!  
  
SAITOU: (turning to the women) All right, you. Kindly inform me, dammit, in your own words: What possible object could you have had in blocking the police station?  
  
KAORU: We thought we'd deposit some women here and withdraw the men from the war.  
  
SAITOU: Ahou Tanuki! We are not the cause of war, its those dammed rebels. (Kaoru crosses her arms and remain silent) And what is your next step?  
  
KAORU: Stupid question. We'll get this war over and done with.  
  
SAITOU: You'll finish the war?  
  
KAORU: Why should you find that so shocking? Besides who needs the war effort?  
  
HIKO: Every patriot who pulses to save all the Mother Japan holds near and dear...  
  
KAORU: Oh, that! Don't worry. We'll save you.  
  
AOSHI: You will save us?  
  
MISAO: Who else?  
  
YAHIKO: Ha-ha! That's real funny.  
  
TSUBAME: You seemed disturbed. This makes it difficult. But, still -- we'll save you.  
  
OKINA: Doubtless illegal.  
  
OKON&OMASU: We deem it a duty. For friendship's sake.  
  
SAITOU: We'll forsake this friend: I DO NOT WANT TO BE SAVED, DAMMIT! (Tokio suddenly emerges from behind and Saitou's demeanor changers. He opens his mouth to say something but close it shut and tried not to look too surprised)  
  
TOKIO: All the more reason. It's not only the men; now we have to save you from you.  
  
SAITOU: (glaring at Tokio then back at Kaoru) You got her into this, didn't you?  
  
KAORU: I'll have you know that she came here on her own. What's the matter Saitou-san, can't stand the fact that your wife has also taken the oath with us.  
  
SAITOU: (frowning) Might I ask where you women conceived this concern about war and peace?  
  
MISAO: Oh, really stupid question. We happen to live with war heroes and legends, nevertheless, we shall explain.  
  
YAHIKO: Hurry up won't you Weasel girl. I'm sure Kenshin and Aoshi are dying to hear.  
  
KAORU: Then listen. And do try to keep your hands to yourselves.  
  
SAITOU: (Moving threateningly towards her) I can't Righteous anger forbids restraints and decrees...  
  
(Megumi moves in between them, this time with Sano's zanza resting on her back)  
  
KENSHIN: ORO! Where did she get that?  
  
MEGUMI: decrees what? MULTIPLE FRACTURES?  
  
SAITOU: (retreating) Keep that thing to yourself, you old crow!  
  
MEGUMI: (to Kaoru) What did he called me? Can I just please....(Kaoru shakes her head and Megumi sighs dejectedly. Turns at Saitou) You old COCKROACH!!!! (then gets behind Kaoru)  
  
SAITOU: This is your army? Really, I have never seen anything more childish than that. She probably got it from staying with Sagara. And where is that old fool by the way? He was in charge here. I should've known he'll mess things up. (sighing) All right tanuki, I'm ready. Speak-up  
  
KAORU: Ok. When the war began, like prudent dutiful wives that we are....  
  
YAHIKO: PRUDENT?  
  
KAORU: Shut up kid. (bops him in the head) Anyway, as I was saying, we tolerated you men and endured your actions in silence.  
  
OKINA: Silence? Why Misao-chan never quit her wailing night and day when she heard that Aoshi has to go to war....(kunais wheezes pass his head) or was it the other way around?  
  
TOKIO: You were not precisely the answer to a woman's prayer -- we knew you too well and found out more. Too many times, as we sat in the house, we'd hear that you'd done it again -- manhandled another affair of state with your usual staggering incompetence. Then masking our worry with a nervous laugh, we'd ask you brightly, 'How was the assembly today dear?' Anything about peace?'   
  
TAE: And my husband would give his stock reply, 'What's that to you. Shut up!' And I did.  
  
KAORU: (proudly) I NEVER shut up.  
  
YAHIKO: Geesh, Kaoru, we already know that ok?  
  
TOKIO: Regardless, I shut up. And then we'd learn that you passed another decree, fouler than the first and we'd ask again, 'Darling, how did you manage anything so idiotic?'  
  
SAE: And my husband with his customary glare, would tell me to check the daikons or wash the dishes.  
  
SAITOU: Apt and irrefutably right.  
  
KAORU: Right, you miserable misfits? To keep us from giving you advice while you fumble with the city? Right indeed! But this time was really too much.  
  
OKON: Wherever we went, we'd hear you engaged in the same conversation: 'What Japan needs is a Man'  
  
OMASU: But there isn't a Man in the country.  
  
OKON: You can say that again!   
  
MISAO: There was obviously no time to lose. We women met in immediate convention and passed a unanimous resolution....  
  
MEGUMI: To work in concern for the safety and Peace of Tokyo and the rest of the cities. We have valuable advice to impart, and if you can possibly deign to emulate our silence, and take your turn as audiences, we'll rectify you -- we'll straighten you out and set you right.  
  
SAITOU: You'll set us right? You go to far. I cannot permit such a statement to...  
  
KAORU: Hush.  
  
SAITOU: I categorically decline to HUSH for some confounded woman who wears -- as a constant reminder of congenital inferiority, an injunction to public silence -- a colorful, sakura prints obi!   
  
HIKO: death before such dishonor!  
  
KAORU: If that's the only obstacle...(removing her obi) I feel you need one Saitou-san, so take the obi, my dear and drape it thus (she winds the obi around Saitou's startled head, Misao and Megumi with combs and hair ornament rush forward and assist) and HUSH!  
  
MISAO: (to Okina) Accept I pray this humble comb.  
  
MEGUMI: (To Chou) Receive this hair ornament as well.  
  
KAORU: Hike up your skirts and card your kimonos and cook all the onigiri you want -- and stay at home!  
  
Saitou struggles to remove the obi  
  
KAORU: Women, weaker vessels, arise! Put down your pitchers. It's our turn now. Let's supply our friends with some moral support.  
  
MEGUMI: Oh yes! A tally of talents convinces me that we are giants of excellence. To commence: There's BEAUTY....  
  
OKON: DUTY....  
  
OMASU: PRUDENCE....  
  
TAE: SCIENCE....  
  
SAE: SELF-RELIANCE....  
  
MISAO: COMPLIANCE....  
  
TSUBAME: DEFIANCE....  
  
KAORU: And LOVE of TOKYO in balance alliance with COMMON SENSE! C'mmon girls, we've settled this with the authorities. Now they know never to mess up with us. Let's go home and wait for this blasted men and we'll crack them with desire....  
  
SAITOU: That's quite a mouthful. There is no way you can say no to your husbands. How will you win against us?  
  
KAORU: First, we intend to withdraw that crazy Army of yours out of downtown shopping section.  
  
TAE: Oh great! The pottery shop, grocery stall are over stocked with soldiers, clanking around armed to the teeth for battle.  
  
HIKO: A hero is always prepared!  
  
KAORU: Well, I suppose he is. But it does look silly to shop for sardines from behind a shield.  
  
MISAO: I'll second that!  
  
SAITOU: I admit that for the moment, the affairs of the state are in one hell of a snarl. But how can you straight them out?  
  
KAORU: Simplicity itself.  
  
SAITOU: Pray demonstrate.  
  
KAORU: You'll see Saitou-san. (winks at him) C'mmon girls. Lets get into plan B.  
  
KENSHIN: What is plan B Koiishi?  
  
KAORU: Well, I'm not supposed to tell, but...we're going to stay in one place for the rest of the night, so that we will be able to...um...hold on to our vows. But if you come and fetch me, I'll certainly go home with you....  
  
KENSHIN: Hai de gozaru. I'm looking forward to it.  
  
KAORU: Alright everyone, let's get going....  
  
And in a flash, everyone is with their respective pairs, saying goodbye and like Kaoru, telling their husbands to come and fetch her later on.  
  
The women leave while the men stay back, ready to face Saitou's rants.  
  
  
short note: well I hope everyone enjoyed this one. please feel free to send me your comments and suggestions and FLAMES. thank you for the reviews. keep them coming. thanks again for reading! to chapter 5, anyone?  
  
  



	5. Rabukome Chapter 5

RABUKOME  
Chapter 5   
  
short note: minna! I hope you're all doing great. I'm hurrying up the chapters here and I want to thank everyone who had been so kind and have given me their reviews. thank you and I hope that you have fun with this chapter. I know that some characters here are 'out of character' and well, I guess my only explanation is these men are on a lot of stress from war, they are tired and well....whatever. but maybe we can all redeem them later on as the story progresses. As you can all see, this is more like 'THE GIRLS' kind of story, so they have to be stronger and wittier. anyway reviews and flames (anything you want to tell me) will be gladly accepted. and can anyone help me with the title for this chapter?  
  
Rabukome   
Chapter 5   
  
The men are where we left them, some are now already settled inside the station while others have decided to camp out. Saitou is trying to straighten his office and filing the important confidential papers, which thankfully none of the women have touched. He is thinking that Kaoru and the rest of the girls, including his wife are some piece of work. He had never been so humiliated in his life, but still it hadn't top Hiko's earlier blunder and he was glad about it.   
  
Meanwhile Kenshin and the rest of the guys are having a conversation outside, licking their wounds. Saitou was glad to rub in a few salts as he was quite confident that no one would dare challenge him or had enough brains to give him a come back which he will not be able to defend. And even if all of them try to deny it, they are having a great time, since they are all assured that whatever their wives have planned or had vowed not to do, they could easily break it.  
  
HIKO: Wake up you men! Preserve our freedom! The time is now.  
  
CHOU: (to Yahiko) Well, that's fast. I thought that he won't be able to get over the 'drenching' thing.  
  
YAHIKO: Hiko? Ha...he's probably in the state of denial right now. But I'm not going to be the one to remind him of today's fiasco.  
  
HIKO: Strip for action men! Let's cope with the current mess.  
  
SAITOU: The trouble may be terminal, it has a loaded odor, an ominous aroma of constitutional rot. They're feverish to freeze my be-all, my end-all....  
  
CHOU: MY PAYROLL!!!  
  
OKINA: I never thought that this day would come, when we are all deprived of one of the greatest pleasures....  
  
AOSHI: Okina, you've been deprived ages ago.  
  
HIKO: (striking an epic pose) I will not allow such thing!  
  
KENSHIN: Oro! It thought you'd been celibate for the last couple of years?  
  
HIKO: Shut up Baka deshi. With the full approval of the immortal gods....I plan to break that damn vow they're are so proud of.  
  
CHOU: Yeah? I bet you couldn't even get close to them.  
  
HIKO: Do I know you? Am I talking to you?  
  
CHOU: (opens his mouth to answer) I...  
  
HIKO: Then SHUT UP!  
  
SANO: (looking a bit haggard with bandages on his arms and hands) Oi! Everyone is here! Good. Has any of you seen Megumi?  
  
SAITOU: Ahou! You imbecile. Where were you? Why did you let the women take over the station?  
  
SANO: Me? I was at the clinic! I had injuries.  
  
SAITOU: From your wife?  
  
SANO: Che, Saitou...don't get me started. What's going on here anyway? Where are the women? I thought they'd be hanging with you by now. Or at least at home?  
  
YAHIKO: You mean you don't know?  
  
SANO: Know what? Geesh, cut the crap and just tell me what the fuck is going on here?  
  
KENSHIN: The women are staying at Dr. Genzai's. They decided to stay there for the rest of the night and for the nights to come unless with sign a peace treaty with the rebels.  
  
SANO: Girl's night out, eh? Well, nothing harmless about that. Ne Kenshin?  
  
YAHIKO: Certainly, but not when they all took a vow agreeing on not having....uh...not having...um...you know Sano...the uh...uh....(makes rude hand gestures. Sano is totally clueless) C'mmon Sano, work with me here.   
  
SANO: What? I can't understand the hands thing! Spit it out will ya!  
  
SAITOU: Sex. The females led by Himura Tanuki had decided to abstain from sex until we secure the peace treaty.  
  
SANO: What? (pause and lets it sinks in) NANIIIII? (turns to Kenshin) How could Jou-chan do this to us? How could Megumi?  
  
OKINA: My point exactly.  
  
SANO: So what are you doing here? Where are the women? Why are you all just sitting around there? Che, I'll get my wife. (starts to go)  
  
KENSHIN: Wait Sano! Where are you going?  
  
SANO: I'm going to find them....(disappears through the night, the word aku catching lights from open stores)  
  
YAHIKO: (shouting) Yeah! Good luck! See ya next year! (muttering) That is if you get lucky....  
  
OKINA: (suddenly standing up, to the shock of everyone) I agree with Hiko-san  
  
HIKO: Hiko-sama  
  
OKINA: (rolling his eyes) Hiko-SAMA, the native respect for our manhood is small...  
  
YAHIKO: Maybe for yours, you old man...  
  
(everyone starts laughing)  
  
OKINA: But probably not as tiny as yours, you little punk! (everyone laughs at Yahiko who is being restrained by Kenshin and Aoshi) As I was saying...their respect is small and is getting smaller. Let's show them who is the real boss. The man who can't battle has no balls at all!  
  
CHOU: I agree too. We shouldn't let them push as around! The next thing we'll know they'll want to build ships and we'll be fending off female pirates!   
  
AOSHI: (thoughtfully) A woman is an easy rider with a natural seat. (everyone starts laughing again and playfully punching Aoshi's arms)  
  
KENSHIN: Oro! A-aoshi? This, from you?  
  
CHOU: Where'd you learn that Zen-master?  
  
AOSHI: (ignoring them and the blush rising in his face) Anyway, the solution is obvious. Put every woman in her place -- I don't want Misao participating in any war.  
  
OKINA: Or my Oni girls!  
  
YAHIKO: And Tsubame too.  
  
KENSHIN: So what are you suggesting?  
  
SAITOU: (taking a long hard drag of his cigar) To do this, first snare your woman around the neck! (everyone cheers and shouts in agreement)  
  
KENSHIN: Oro! But Saitou....  
  
HIKO: Baka deshi, do you have balls or not?  
  
KENSHIN: (looking upset) Shishou!  
  
HIKO: I asked you, do you have...  
  
KENSHIN: Hai! Hai!  
  
HIKO: Then let's do this!  
  
(the men gather in circle and listens to Hiko's plan)  
  
  
  
  
The women are huddled together in one room. Kaoru is pacing back and forth. For the last couple of hours, she had been vigilantly guarding the women. Most have tried to escaped with their husbands. It was not that she didn't understand their feelings. But it would be unfair for the rest of the girls holding on to their vows.  
  
KAORU: I understand you ladies...in briefest compass, (dropping her voice) we all want to get laid. (cheers and loud hooting from everyone, especially from Misao). Well, that's the way things are. I've lost my grip on the girls -- they're mad for men!  
  
MEGUMI: But sly. They slip out in droves. A minute ago I found someone trying to squeeze in into a hole, I hauled her back by the hair.   
  
MISAO: You go girl!  
  
KAORU: Here comes another one. Watch this. (to the first woman) You, there! What's your hurry?  
  
1st WOMAN: Oh, Kaoru-chan, I have a lovely Milesian wool all the way from Greece in the house and the moths will simply batter it to bits.  
  
KAORU: I'll bet. Get back inside.  
  
1st WOMAN: I swear I'll hurry right back! Just enough time to spread it on the floor.  
  
TOKIO: Your wool will stay unspread. And you'll stay here.  
  
1st WOMAN: Do I have to let it rot?  
  
MEGUMI: Possibly.  
  
(The first woman heaves a dejected sigh and returns with the other girls .A second woman runs on)  
  
2nd WOMAN: Oh dear, oh goodness what shall I do -- the clothes are still hung in the yard. I left them. I'll just go and take them inside.  
  
MISAO: Another one. Stay here. No one will steal your clothes.  
  
2nd WOMAN: I'll be right back. I just have to get them.  
  
OMASU: No. No. You start it and everyone else will want to go and get their clothes too.  
  
(The second woman gives up. A third woman, swelling conspicuously, hurries on praying loudly)  
  
3rd WOMAN: O Goodness! Childbirth! Grant that I not deliver until I get out of here.  
  
KAORU: What sort of nonsense it this?  
  
3rd WOMAN: I'm due -- any second!  
  
MEGUMI: You weren't pregnant yesterday!  
  
3rd WOMAN: Today I am -- a miracle! Let me go home... I may not make it.  
  
MEGUMI: Perfect then. I'm a doctor.  
  
3rd WOMAN: Uh...well...I have my own midwife! I promised that she'll help me with this little one!  
  
TAE: You can do better than that! (tapping the woman's stomach and receiving a metallic clang)  
  
SAE: (tapping again) What's this? It's hard.  
  
3rd WOMAN: I'm having a boy.  
  
KAORU: Not unless his made of bronze. Let's see. (she throws open the woman clothes, exposing a pot)  
  
TOKIO: Of all the brazen...Pregnant indeed!  
  
3rd WOMAN: I am SO pregnant!  
  
OKON: Then why the pot?  
  
3rd WOMAN: I thought I'd be ready to cook and feed the baby.  
  
KAORU: Nothing but excuses! (Taking the pot and giving it to the woman) This is your baby. I'm afraid you'll have to stay until we give it a name.  
  
3rd WOMAN: But I can't sleep here!  
  
MISAO: Well, yeah me too. Those goddamned holy owls! All night long, (imitating the sound) Tu-wit, Tu-wu -- they're hooting me into my gave!  
  
KAORU: Alright, lets call a halt to this hocus-pocus. You miss your men -- now isn't that the trouble? (everyone nods) Don't you think they miss you just as much? I can assure you, their nights are every bit as hard as yours.  
  
TOKIO: So be good girls. Endure! Persist a few more days and victory is ours.   
  
MEGUMI: It's fated anyway. Can you ever think that those bumbling fools can win over us? The men will go down to defeat before us, provided that we maintain a united front. We will be successful in making the lower the upper!  
  
MISAO: Then we'll be lying on top?  
  
(everyone groans out loud)  
  
  
  
  
The men are walking towards the women's hiding place. Okina finds an old woman, who is still very much pretty with rosy cheeks and bright brown eyes.  
  
OKINA: Let me kiss that wizened cheek...  
  
OLD WOMAN: (threatening with a fist) A wish too rash for that withered flesh!  
  
OKINA: (gets mad) ....and lay you low with a flying kick. (he tries but misses)  
  
OLD WOMAN: (haughtily) Exposing an over grown underbush? (laughs then moves away)  
  
YAHIKO: (laughing, clutching at his stomach) Smooth. Real smooth.  
  
OKINA: Ah, she wasn't even worth my time. She should be thankful really. C'mmon, men lets go and hurry up to our wives!  
  
AOSHI: You don't have a wife Okina.  
  
OKINA: Ah, but why must you say it out loud? I'm jolted already. Thank you.  
  
  
  
  
Kaoru scan the horizon. When her gaze reaches the left, she stops suddenly.  
  
KAORU: Ladies, attention! Battle stations please! And quickly! ( a general rush of women take their pitchers and their combs in hands)  
  
MISAO: What is it?  
  
MEGUMI: What's all the shouting for?  
  
KAORU: A MAN! Yes, it's a man. And he's coming this way! Hmmm. Seems to have suffered a seizure. Broken out with a nasty attack of love.  
  
MISAO: I don't care who he is -- where is he?  
  
KAORU: There, flanking between the trees.  
  
MISAO: My. Definitely a man. (to Kaoru) Do you think its Aoshi?  
  
MEGUMI: I wonder who it can be?  
  
KAORU: See for yourselves. Can anyone identify him?  
  
MEGUMI: Oh great! I can. That's Sano!  
  
MISAO: (shouting) Ey Sano! What's up?  
  
KAORU: (to Megumi) Your duty is clear. Seduce him all you want, sear him with kisses, coyness, caresses, everything -- but stop where out oath begins.  
  
MEGUMI: Relax, I can take care of this....  
  
  
  
  
author's note: ok. it ends there. i hope that you liked that one. reviews please! thanks again. to the next cahpter, anyone?   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Rabukome Chapter 6: When Sano and Megumi...

RABUKOME  
Chapter 6A- When They All Get Home  
  
short note: this going quite fast ne? I'm kinda stuck with "A Date" so I figured I just concentrate on Rabukome first. I hope everyone is enjoying this and please send in your reviews. I appreciate all of them. Thanks.   
  
  
Rabukome  
Chapter 6A - When They All Get Home  
(Sano and Megumi)  
  
KAORU: (to Megumi) Your duty is clear. Seduce him all you want sear him with kisses, coyness, caresses, everything -- but stop where out oath begins.  
  
MEGUMI: Relax, I can take care of this....  
  
KAORU: Of course you can. Still a little help can't hurt, now can it? I'll just stay around for a bit. Hopefully, he gets the idea and just leave.  
  
MISAO: Sano? We're talking about Sano here right? He won't get the idea.  
  
TOKIO: We'll see. Everyone inside.  
  
MISAO: Oh, but I want to watch.  
  
OMAU: Now, now, Misao-chan. Lets' not be rude...  
  
OKON: Let's just go to the other side.  
  
MISAO: Great idea! (they leave Kaoru and Megumi, who is hidden from her husband's view)  
  
SANO: (a twig snaps as he steps on it) Oh shit. Where the hell is that Fox. I thought I heard Misao call me but I can't see her now or Jou-chan either. (turns away and curse) How long, ye gods! How long?  
  
KAORU: Who goes there?  
  
SANO: Jou-chan?  
  
KAORU: Who penetrates our positions?  
  
SANO: Me.  
  
KAORU: (playing dumb) A man?  
  
SANO: Every inch!  
  
KAORU: Then inch yourself out of here. Off Limits to men.  
  
SANO: This is the limit. Just who are you to throw me out?  
  
KAORU: The Lookout.  
  
SANO: Well, look here, Lookout. I'd like to see Megumi. How's the outlook?  
  
KAORU: Unlikely! Bring Megumi to you? The idea!  
  
SANO: For Kami's sake Jou-chan, cut the chase will you....  
  
KAORU: I thought you were injured. You shouldn't be out so late Sano. Have you eaten your dinner already. I'm sure the men would welcome you. They are at the station, with Kenshin, Aoshi, Yahiko, Hiko, Saitou, Chou, Okina and....  
  
SANO: BRING HER OUT HERE!  
  
KAORU: Really and what would I get out of this?  
  
SANO: You see my situation? (looks down and...er....um...how do you say this? ::author blushes:: He has an erection....::author almost faints, gets a hold of herself and pretends she didn't type it::) This can all be yours.  
  
KAORU: YOU STUPID CHICKEN HEAD PUNK! (to herself) This is really Megumi's place. (shouts) I'll go and get her!  
  
SANO: Speed Jou-chan! She left out home and happiness went with her. Oh, to enter that foxless -- ur, wifeless house, to sense that awful emptiness, to eat that joyless food --  
  
KAORU: Sano, she's only be gone for the whole night....  
  
SANO: JOU-CHAN, GET HER NOW!  
  
KAORU: Hai, hai! (runs off to get Megumi)  
  
MEGUMI: (who overhears Sano) Oh, I do love him. I'm mad about him. I hope he doesn't see me.  
  
SANO: Megumi? Is that you? Koibito, why do you act this way? Come here.  
  
MEGUMI: Come there? Certainly not!  
  
SANO: Why not? C'mmon Megumi, don't make me beg.  
  
MEGUMI: Beg.  
  
SANO: Aw, c'mmon.  
  
MEGUMI: Fine. See yah when the war is over.  
  
SANO: (sighs, grumbles several curses and gets down on his knees) Please? I'm begging you.  
  
MEGUMI: Gods, you're pathetic. I'm leaving.  
  
SANO: No! Wait! At least you'll have to listen to the voice of your child. (grabs a young boy)   
(to the young boy) Call your mother.... (to Megumi)....to the voice of your child.... (to the young boy) Call your mother brat!  
  
YOUNG BOY: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!  
  
SANO: Where's your maternal instinct? He hasn't been washed or fed for a week. How can you be so pitiless?  
  
MEGUMI: Him, I pity. Of all the pitiful excuses for a father....  
  
SANO: Come with me Koibito. For the baby's sake.  
  
MEGUMI: Motherhood, I'll have to come. I have no choice.  
  
KAORU: Ahem! Megumi, helloooo, you don't have a son yet.  
  
MEGUMI: Dammit! She's right! Sano, you conniving, deceitful....  
  
SANO: A geesh, Jou-chan! I had her! (to the boy) Go on home.  
  
YOUNG BOY: Where's my yen?  
  
SANO: I said SCRAM! (the boy runs off)  
  
MEGUMI: That was pretty low Sano.   
  
SANO: I only did it because I want to be with you. I promise I won't do anything stupid.  
  
KAORU: Aw, give it up Megumi. Just go with him. I'm sure you cab handle it. We won't be able to sleep if Sano keeps moaning and whining there.  
  
MEGUMI: (sighing) Alright. I'm coming Sano. (Megumi leaves the house as a horde of women complain to Kaoru)  
  
SANO: It may be me, but I'll swear she looks years younger.  
  
MEGUMI: Yeah, yeah, I know that already.  
  
SANO: (snaking an arm around Megumi's shoulder) Let's go home Koibito. (they start walking) You should be ashamed of yourself, letting those women lead you around. Why do you do these things? You only make me suffer and hurt your poor, sweet self.  
  
MEGUMI: (stepping away from Sano's semi-hug) Keep your hands away from me!  
  
SANO: But the house, the furniture, everything we owe, are you willing to let it go to hell?  
  
MEGUMI: Frankly, I couldn't care less.  
  
SANO: But your patients? Your syringes out in the open. You couldn't care less about that?  
  
MEGUMI: I certainly couldn't.  
  
SANO: (stops in front of the house) Think how long it has been, Koibito.  
  
MEGUMI: Ummm....LAST NIGHT?  
  
SANO: (enters the house) Let's get in.  
  
MEGUMI: I absolutely refuse! Unless you agree to a truce to stop the war.  
  
SANO: Well then, if that's what you want, we'll stop the war!  
  
MEGUMI: Well then, if that is your decision, I'll come back after it's done. But for the present, I've sworn off.  
  
SANO: (entering the house with Megumi and dragging her to their room where a futon is already spread) At least lie down for a minute. We'll talk. (putting his arms around Megumi)  
  
MEGUMI: I know what you're up to -- NO! -- (Sano begins to kiss Megumi's cheek travelling down to her neck) And yet.....I really can't say I don't love you...  
  
SANO: (whispering huskily in her ears) You love me? So what's the trouble? Lie down.  
  
MEGUMI: Don't be disgusting! (crossing her arms)  
  
SANO: I'm sorry. It's just that....  
  
MEGUMI: (getting an idea and smiling evilly, which Sano missed seeing) Poor dear. Fine. You lie down and I'll go get us a blanket. (hurries to get a blanket)  
  
SANO: Yes! Thank Kami!  
  
MEGUMI: (returning with a heavy blanket and dropping it on Sano) Here. You hurry to bed while I undress. (puts a hand on her mouth) Gracious me -- I forgot. We need some more mattress. That futon is already old and thin.  
  
SANO: Who wants a mattress? Not me.  
  
MEGUMI: Oh yes you do. The bamboo floor is too hard.  
  
SANO: (lies down) Well, give me a kiss to tide me over.  
  
MEGUMI: (gives him a long, slow kiss) Well, gotta go and get that mattress (a little breathless)  
  
SANO: OOOOOLALALA! Make it a quick trip dear!  
  
MEGUMI: (enters the room with a mattress and dumps it on Sano who fix the futon) Here we are. Our perfect futon. Now hurry to bed while I undress. (Sano lies down again) Oh, my! I forgot! You don't have a pillow!  
  
SANO: I do not need a pillow!  
  
MEGUMI: I know, but I do. (she leaves)  
  
SANO: What a lovefeast!   
  
MEGUMI: (returning with a pillow) Rise and shine! And now, I have everything I need.  
  
SANO: You certainly do. Come here my little fox!  
  
MEGUMI: Just taking off my obi. Don't break your promise. No cheating about the peace.  
  
SANO: I swear to Kami, I'll die first!   
  
MEGUMI: Just look, you don't have a blanket!  
  
SANO: I didn't plan to go camping -- I want to make love!  
  
MEGUMI: Relax, you'll get your love. I'll be right back. (she leaves again)  
  
SANO: Relax? I'm dying a slow death by dry goods!  
  
MEGUMI: (returning with a heavier piece of blanket) Get up!  
  
SANO: (standing up) I've been up for hours. I was up before I was up. (Megumi spreads the blanket and Sano lies down again)  
  
MEGUMI: (giving him a sly smile) I presume you want perfume?  
  
SANO: Positively NO!  
  
MEGUMI: Absolutely yes -- whether you want it or not. (she leaves for the umpteenth time)  
  
SANO: Dear gods, I don't ask for much, but please let her spill it.  
  
MEGUMI: (returning with a bottle) Hold out your hand like a good boy. Now rub it in.  
  
SANO: (obeying and sniffling) This is to quicken desire? Too strong. It grabs your nose and bawls out: Try again tomorrow.  
  
MEGUMI: I'm awful! I brought you that rancid brand! (she starts off with the bottle)  
  
SANO: This is just lovely. Leave it, woman!  
  
MEGUMI: Silly! (she leaves again.....)  
  
SANO: Goddamm the idiot who first concocted perfume!  
  
MEGUMI: (returning with a new bottle) Here, try this flask.  
  
SANO: Thanks -- but you try mine. Come to bed, you WITCH -- and please stop bringing things!  
  
MEGUMI: That is exactly what I'll do. There go my shoes. Incidentally, darling, you will remember to vote for the truce? (lies down and caresses Sano)  
  
SANO: I'LL THINK IT OVER!  
  
MEGUMI: (stands up and snatches her obi and re-ties it again) You'll think it over....I'll just go and run off....JA!! (she runs off for good)  
  
SANO: That woman laid me waste -- destroyed me......(pounds his fist on the futon, spilling the rancid perfume, he cover his nose and declares....) I'm going to get that Peace treaty even if it's the last thing I do!  
  
  
  
Author's note: ok that wasn't so bad, was it? I was a little apprehensive about doing Sano and Megumi's version. I hope it was ok and managed to get a few laughs out from you guys. Please give me your reviews and comments. I'm looking forward to all of them. thanks. On to Chapter 6B, with probably Aoshi and Misao and Yahiko and Tsubame.   
  
  
  
  
  



	7. 

RABUKOME  
Chapter 6B When They All Get Home  
  
  
Short note: ok, this part, is purely mine (I wrote the first part) and joan-chan, who is one hell of a writer did most of the work here.  
  
And btw, I just added this part to have the chance to show what the other couples are up to. So if I messed this up, it isn't Aristophane's work. Blame it on Yuki-san ok? Thanks for the review. I'm really glad that this fic is working and that you are all enjoying it, I hope as much as I am in making this. I know I have, like tons of grammatical and spelling errors, but I hope you bear with me. When I get the chance to polish this, I'll be sure to check the errors. Thanks gain. Reveiws and comments and critiscms are all welcome!   
  
  
RABUKOME  
Chapter 6b When They All Get Home  
  
  
MISAO: (facing Kaoru with arms crossed, pouting) Hey Kaoru, that wasn't fair, how come she gets to go home with Sano?  
  
KAORU: Because Sano fetched her and I trust that Megumi would keep our vow. Besides if Aoshi comes here too I'd let you go with him. It's not like we're all complete here. Some of the girls have already successfully gotten out with their husbands and I have warned them about the oath. They just want to spend some time with their husbands.  
  
MISAO: Daijobou. But if Aoshi comes, I get to go with him, right?  
  
OKON: I'm sure Kaoru will hold on to her words.  
  
KAORU: And speaking of Mr. Ice, look out there Misao. (points at some moving shadows outside)  
  
MISAO: (running past Kaoru and finding Aoshi standing by the tree with Okina and Yahiko) Oh, he's here! I can't believe he came for me.  
  
KAORU: Who goes there?  
  
YAHIKO: It's me Busu. And don't go acting like a military lookout. Where's Tsubame? I want to talk to her.  
  
MISAO: Ask Aoshi if he wants to talk to me?  
  
KAORU: Anyone else you guys want to see?  
  
YAHIKO: (looks at Aoshi and Okina) Nope, just Tsubame.  
  
KAORU: Are you sure?  
  
YAHIKO: Dammit Busu, do I have to repeat everything I say. TSU-BA-ME. I am looking for her.  
  
KAORU: You brat! Watch your mouth. I don't care if you want to see her or not. I forbid that she goes there. Beisdes you never told me that you've alredy done it with her.   
  
YAHIKO: (muttering to himself) I can't believe Tsubame told them. (To Kaoru) That's none of your damn business! C'mmon Busu. I haven't see her for months! I miss her already! And besides I respect her decision if she wants to abstain. I just want to hold her hand.  
  
OKON: Oh, that's too sweet. I'll go get Tsubame. (hurries down to fetch Tsubame)  
  
KAORU: Oh yeah? Why should I believe you?  
  
YAHIKO: If you won't send her out here, I'll go there myself.   
  
KAORU: You dare?  
  
YAHIKO: (crossed his arm and glared at Kaoru) It's no fair! I have to see her.  
  
KAORU: Come back when you have a copy of the peace treaty. (Yahiko stomps on the ground, gives her a nasty glare and walks away)  
  
OKON: That was mean!  
  
KAORU: Trust me, he'll be back. I'm just giving him a hard time as punishment for being rude. And I like to see that boy squirm. Give him half an hour and I'll be sure that he'll get in here, crawling by the backdoor  
  
OKON: Hontou?  
  
KAORU: I know this kid. (Okon runs to the backdoor grabbing Tsubame on her way to wait for Yahiko)  
  
OKINA: And by the way Kaoru-chan, I want to see my Misao too and Okon and Omasu and the rest of the girls there. Can I see them?  
  
KAORU: All of them?  
  
OKINA: (eyes glowing) Yes please.  
  
KAORU: I'll go ask the girls. (A moment later a collective shrieks of horror and screams of disgust were heard) Nope, sorry, no one is interested. How bout you Aoshi? Came here for Misao?  
  
AOSHI: ....  
  
MISAO: Of course he did! Can I go now?  
  
AOSHI: Actually, I'm just here to make sure Okina does nothing stupid. I respect your desicions to abstain. I will just have to find a place to stay. (looks at Misao) I'll see you as soon as the peace treaty is signed. Good night Misao-mine. (leaves, his trench coat swaying in the night)  
  
KAORU: Wait! Wait Aoshi-sama!   
  
AOSHI: (turns his head, looking lost and forlon) Yes?  
  
KAORU: I remembered Tae saying that you can stay at the Akabeko. There's plenty of room there upstairs!   
  
AOSHI: Hai! Arigatou Kamiya...errrr Himura-san. (starts to leave again)  
  
KAORU: Are you sure you want to leave Misao here behind?  
  
AOSHI: (nods silently and walks away)  
  
MISAO: (Gapes at the leaving Aoshi and promptly burt into tears) Waaah! He doesn't love me! He's ok with the whole idea of me not...of him not....(he truns to Kaoru) What should I do Kaoru? What if he decides to leave me?! Mou! I knew this was going to happen!  
  
KAORU: (sighs, patting Misao by her head) Daijoubu Misao, I'm sure Aoshi just doesn't want to...well, you know, torture himself. I'm sure he won't be able to, um, control himself once you two are left alone in one room.  
  
MISAO: (wiping her tears) Well, that's too bad, cuz I want to spend the night with him! And I intend to! Whatever it takes. I'm going to make him suffer for being so...so...so sensitive and thoughtful!  
  
KAORU: (big sweat drop) Huh? Excuse me?  
  
MISAO: Yes! Yes! I'm seeing it! I'm going to make him really squirm! (she turns to Kaoru with gleaming eyes) Would you allow me to follow him?  
  
Fine. Just make sure that you don't have....  
  
MISAO: Postive. I won't even lay a finger on him...  
  
KAORU: You have to promise.  
  
MISAO: Kaoru don't you trust me?  
  
KAORU: Nope.  
  
MISAO: Aw, Kaoru!  
  
KAORU: Fine. Just, please, try not to betray us, ok?  
  
MISAO: (gives a salute and jumps out of the window into the dark)  
  
KAORU: Misao! Not a finger! remember?  
  
MISAO: Hai! Just trust me, ne? I'll give you the full account on what happened. (winks at Kaoru)  
  
KAORU: Uh, no thanks. But be careful ok. (smiles and waves goodbye and notice Okina standing alone) Hey, Okina, are you sure you're alright staying there?  
  
OKINA: I'm fine.   
  
KAORU: Ok, I'll just leave you there. (closes the door and moves away from it)  
  
OKINA: (looks hungrily through the walls) Heh, Tanuki, no one can keep me out. Especially not from a house full of beautiful and young women! (hides in the shadows)   
  
Evil laugh piercing the night....  
  
  
  
Aoshi was somberly walking towards the Akabeko in which he hoped was the right direction, the last thing he wanted was to get lost and be forced to sleep on the street. He was finding it hard to concentrate, he kept having a flashback of Misao when he came home late the other week.  
  
He chanced upon Misao still bathing but regardless, she jumped on him, soaking wet and all, hugging him and yelling that he was such an idiot for surprising her but frantically kissing him all over his face.  
  
Someone was walking up behind him. He turned smoothly, his eyes flashing. The silent street stared back at him. He sighed. He was getting all jumpy over nothing. He stopped by the Akabeko and was surprised to find out that the door was open. He wasn't shocked to find the place in such a mess. It seemed that the girls have left in a hurry to support Kaoru's plan.  
  
He sighed, thinking that only Himura's wife was head-strong enough to propose such an outrageous plan. He pitied Himura, truth to be told and chuckled silently calling to mind Saitou's enraged expression when he found out that it was his wife's support that sealed the feminine uprising.  
  
Actually, at first he was worried, Misao is pretty headstrong at times but he also knew how to wear his wife's energy down having been married to her for quite some time now. He knew how to expertly catch the hurled kunais and how to turn Misao into jelly in his hands.  
  
AOSHI: (smirking loudly) Oh, yes, I know how to tame the enemy, better yet, one angry weasel  
  
MISAO: Oh, you're here finally! (she greeted cheerfully, but stopped herself, she had to get on with her plan)  
  
AOSHI: (stares blankly at her)  
  
MISAO: What's wrong Aoshi? Aren't you going to greet me? (she asked softly)  
  
AOSHI: Ta-tadiama. (a little surprise, but not entirely unhappy. No. Not at all.)   
  
MISAO: You seemed so surprise. You can't get rid of me that quickly. (she smiled. Ha! He's going to take the bait! He has to, or else...) Well, go wash you self. I'll be waiting at our room. (heads towards their room)  
  
AOSHI: But...I thought...I....(he sighed, he will never truly understand womnen) She seemed a little miffed that I didn't want to take her from Kamiya-san.... (he stood for a moment analyzing the situation, but smirked again, full of confidence and male pride, he certainly hoped Misao was madder than a spurned peahen because it is her volatility that enlivened their marriage. Most of their fights would result in such a passionate joining, and he enjoyed the challenge of Misao's muleheaded principles.) Wait till Sagara hears about this! I, Shinamori Aoshi, able to break a sacred vow of the women! (he liked the idea so much he hurriedly cleaned himself off and headed towards their room)  
  
He quietly entered the dimly lit room the sight that greeted him so startled him he dropped his kodachis heedlessly in their tatami.  
  
There, bathed in moonlight, looking as pure and sweet as an angel was a silent and docile Misao.  
  
MISAO: (watched him through her bangs and tried to imagine what was going on his mind...she was loving every minute of this...She sat on her heels, facing him and she raised her head only briefly, her blue eyes demurely downcast before bowing her head, her hands folded neatly on her lap her hair was caught up in a very wifely bun, her kimono simple but evocative.)   
  
AOSHI:...(She didn't say a single word as Aoshi perused her and Aoshi found himself becoming decidedly anxious)  
  
MISAO: Welcome home anata   
  
She had said it so softly that Aoshi strained to hear her and was dumbfounded when Misao refused to look at him.   
  
AOSHI: *What the heck is going on?* ( he thought furiously, his scowl increasing when he saw Misao flinch as if in fear)  
  
MISAO: Anata, desu, you have no need to shout (trying her best to look fragile and forlorn)  
  
Aoshi realized that he wasn't merely thinking, he has shouted and rightly so, because his wife has thoroughly rattled him. He saw her fingers were white as she gripped them together and he was appalled!  
  
He strode over to her and sat on his heels in front of her, he studied her quietly, unable to believe this was his wife who shouted invectives earlier and demanding that they sign the treaty.   
  
AOSHI: Misao-mine, please tell me what is wrong? Are you sick? (Maybe she hurt her head or something like that, Aoshi thought)  
  
MISAO: (she took a deep breath and burst into tears at his light touch, she didn't have any problem looking weak and defeated) Watashi...watashi...iie...  
  
Bewildered and horrified, he tried to comfort his wife. Even as a child, she never cried like this, true, she threw temper tantrums but even in the wake of tears, Misao could still be spitting mad and full of bravado. He kissed her forehead, her temple and it seemed most natural that his lips would caress hers too.   
  
Pliant in his arms but unresponsive, Misao's lack of response really rankled on Aoshi. Whenever he kissed her, she gave him as good as she got. But now it was like he was enduring his attentions.   
  
His stomach turned queasy at such a horrible thought and he felt his temper rising.  
  
He lifted his lips from her and Misao immediately opened her eyes, half-opened actually because her lashes were still demurely lowered, as she pulled away from him.  
  
His temper was sorely strained now and before he knew it, he took his petite wife in his arms and kissed her passionately, knowing his wife adored his unpredictable bursts of passion. He was just getting into it when he realized Misao was absolutely still in his arms.   
  
With a strong oath, he dropped his arms and stood up, pacing like a restless tiger while giving his wife dark looks.  
  
MISAO: (Misao took a deep breath, trying to control her growing mirth and modulated her voice to a soft whisper) Anata, would you like tea?  
  
AOSHI: Iie (he bit out, his mind thinking rapidly while giving his wife dark looks. Is this some sort of a twisted plan? He studied his wife some more) Misao...  
  
MISAO: (she cut him off with another soft voiced offer) Massage?  
  
AOSHI: Iie.  
  
MISAO: Would you like me to fan you? The weather is a bit warm? (fanning herself, deliberately loosening the top of the kimono she was wearing, revealing her creamy skin. She smiled slowly at the way his eyes skimmed over to her breast)  
  
AOSHI: (ignoring the loosened material) No!  
  
MISAO: Would you like to rest your weary head upon my lap? (asked Misao sweetly, hiding her self-satisfied smile. She caught him draw his eyes to her folded knees and the way he licked his lips....she tried not to double over in laughter. She decided to torture him so more...)  
  
Whirling, Aoshi turned to chastise his wife and found her still in a very submissive pose. He had started to feel his hardness pressing on his pants the moment he caught a glimpse at her skin and heady memories found it's way into his brain. But there was something decidedly wrong with Misao....  
  
A small smile was playing at her mouth and belatedly, he realized his wife's plan. He strode over to his wife, hauled her to her feet and began shaking her, as if trying to shake some sense into her.  
  
AOSHI: Chikusho Misao! Stop being so damn docile!  
  
MISAO: I'm not...(she lowered her voice seductively and hunched her shoulder, making sure that he has a full views of her cleavage, pressing herslf into him and then backing away when she felt his hard shaft, blushing to the roots of her hair, which thankfully Aoshi didn't notice)  
  
AOSHI: (he wasn't sure if she was seducing him or was playing mind games with him. But his problem was, he couldn't even think of making love with her while she's acting so....so prim!. He stared at her eyes. When Misao's eyes were still spinning, Aoshi whirled around, picking up his fallen kodachis and grabbing his trench coat) That damn female! Who does she think she is?  
  
MISAO: Aoshi-sama? (she whisphered in a weak voice she knew Aoshi hated)  
  
AOSHI: Nani? (he growled)  
  
MISAO: Watashi... I would feel much stronger if you would sign the peace treaty, anata, (whispered Misao fluttering her eyelashes mockingly)  
  
AOSHI: Hai! (he bellowed before stomping out of the bedroom. Feeling his hardness lessen into a more bearable pain) Being prim doesn't become you weasel, I hate it do you hear me? (he shouted before slamming the door and walking out of the room)  
  
Misao made sure Aoshi has gone a safe distance before she began laughing, rolling in the neatly made futon in her hilarity.   
  
Smugly, she realized her husband's plan to tame her and knew she wouldn't be able to resist her husband's tender persuasion. Being so unlike herself would sure unbalance him. She grinned and rolled over, unpinning her hair and shrugging off her kimono to don her ninja uniform. She better report back to Kaoru-chan and see the developments in the other girls.   
  
MISAO: Aoshi-sama, you better sign the treaty or suffer my wrath.   
  
A kunai blade gleamed in the dull light.  
  
  
  
Author's note:  
Wai! Wai! Jo-chan is really good. All creadits should go to her for this scene! But I must tell you, that I added most of the lemony part...because I'm a weird freak. So if this is a little NC 17, blame me, ne? And, I am such a slob, I lost the copy of Rabukome, so it'll take a bit longer for this fic to finish. I hope you'll continue to be patient and all. ::sigh:::  
  
Jo-chan, would you like to say something to our readers?  
  
jo-chan: Ohayo! Actually, my contribution just looked good because yuki-dono edited it! =) Anyway, i'm really glad for this chance to collaborate because eversince I've read Rabukome, I've been bursting with ideas! I'm just glad because at least, I got to read this particular installment first! bwahaha! well, like the other readers of rabukome, lets just hope yuki-dono finishes it, or we have to resort to extreme measures and tie her to her computer! (evil grin) Hey yuki, maybe you can help me with "Intricacies of Fate"? happy readings guys, i'm really enjoying this fic!  
  



	8. Chapter 6b

RABUKOME  
Chapter 6B When They All Get Home  
  
Short note: ok, this part, is purely mine (I wrote the first part) and joan-chan, who is one hell of a writer did most of the work here.  
  
And btw, I just added this part to have the chance to show what the other couples are up to. So if I messed this up, it isn't Aristophane's work. Blame it on Yuki-san ok? Thanks for the review. I'm really glad that this fic is working and that you are all enjoying it, I hope as much as I am in making this. I know I have, like tons of grammatical and spelling errors, but I hope you bear with me. When I get the chance to polish this, I'll be sure to check the errors. Thanks gain. Reveiws and comments and critiscms are all welcome!   
  
  
RABUKOME  
Chapter 6b When They All Get Home  
  
  
MISAO: (facing Kaoru with arms crossed, pouting) Hey Kaoru, that wasn't fair, how come she gets to go home with Sano?  
  
KAORU: Because Sano fetched her and I trust that Megumi would keep our vow. Besides if Aoshi comes here too I'd let you go with him. It's not like we're all complete here. Some of the girls have already successfully gotten out with their husbands and I have warned them about the oath. They just want to spend some time with their husbands.  
  
MISAO: Daijobou. But if Aoshi comes, I get to go with him, right?  
  
OKON: I'm sure Kaoru will hold on to her words.  
  
KAORU: And speaking of Mr. Ice, look out there Misao. (points at some moving shadows outside)  
  
MISAO: (running past Kaoru and finding Aoshi standing by the tree with Okina and Yahiko) Oh, he's here! I can't believe he came for me.  
  
KAORU: Who goes there?  
  
YAHIKO: It's me Busu. And don't go acting like a military lookout. Where's Tsubame? I want to talk to her.  
  
MISAO: Ask Aoshi if he wants to talk to me?  
  
KAORU: Anyone else you guys want to see?  
  
YAHIKO: (looks at Aoshi and Okina) Nope, just Tsubame.  
  
KAORU: Are you sure?  
  
YAHIKO: Dammit Busu, do I have to repeat everything I say. TSU-BA-ME. I am looking for her.  
  
KAORU: You brat! Watch your mouth. I don't care if you want to see her or not. I forbid that she goes there. Beisdes you never told me that you've alredy done it with her.   
  
YAHIKO: (muttering to himself) I can't believe Tsubame told them. (To Kaoru) That's none of your damn business! C'mmon Busu. I haven't see her for months! I miss her already! And besides I respect her decision if she wants to abstain. I just want to hold her hand.  
  
OKON: Oh, that's too sweet. I'll go get Tsubame. (hurries down to fetch Tsubame)  
  
KAORU: Oh yeah? Why should I believe you?  
  
YAHIKO: If you won't send her out here, I'll go there myself.   
  
KAORU: You dare?  
  
YAHIKO: (crossed his arm and glared at Kaoru) It's no fair! I have to see her.  
  
KAORU: Come back when you have a copy of the peace treaty. (Yahiko stomps on the ground, gives her a nasty glare and walks away)  
  
OKON: That was mean!  
  
KAORU: Trust me, he'll be back. I'm just giving him a hard time as punishment for being rude. And I like to see that boy squirm. Give him half an hour and I'll be sure that he'll get in here, crawling by the backdoor  
  
OKON: Hontou?  
  
KAORU: I know this kid. (Okon runs to the backdoor grabbing Tsubame on her way to wait for Yahiko)  
  
OKINA: And by the way Kaoru-chan, I want to see my Misao too and Okon and Omasu and the rest of the girls there. Can I see them?  
  
KAORU: All of them?  
  
OKINA: (eyes glowing) Yes please.  
  
KAORU: I'll go ask the girls. (A moment later a collective shrieks of horror and screams of disgust were heard) Nope, sorry, no one is interested. How bout you Aoshi? Came here for Misao?  
  
AOSHI: ....  
  
MISAO: Of course he did! Can I go now?  
  
AOSHI: Actually, I'm just here to make sure Okina does nothing stupid. I respect your desicions to abstain. I will just have to find a place to stay. (looks at Misao) I'll see you as soon as the peace treaty is signed. Good night Misao-mine. (leaves, his trench coat swaying in the night)  
  
KAORU: Wait! Wait Aoshi-sama!   
  
AOSHI: (turns his head, looking lost and forlon) Yes?  
  
KAORU: I remembered Tae saying that you can stay at the Akabeko. There's plenty of room there upstairs!   
  
AOSHI: Hai! Arigatou Kamiya...errrr Himura-san. (starts to leave again)  
  
KAORU: Are you sure you want to leave Misao here behind?  
  
AOSHI: (nods silently and walks away)  
  
MISAO: (Gapes at the leaving Aoshi and promptly burt into tears) Waaah! He doesn't love me! He's ok with the whole idea of me not...of him not....(he truns to Kaoru) What should I do Kaoru? What if he decides to leave me?! Mou! I knew this was going to happen!  
  
KAORU: (sighs, patting Misao by her head) Daijoubu Misao, I'm sure Aoshi just doesn't want to...well, you know, torture himself. I'm sure he won't be able to, um, control himself once you two are left alone in one room.  
  
MISAO: (wiping her tears) Well, that's too bad, cuz I want to spend the night with him! And I intend to! Whatever it takes. I'm going to make him suffer for being so...so...so sensitive and thoughtful!  
  
KAORU: (big sweat drop) Huh? Excuse me?  
  
MISAO: Yes! Yes! I'm seeing it! I'm going to make him really squirm! (she turns to Kaoru with gleaming eyes) Would you allow me to follow him?  
  
Fine. Just make sure that you don't have....  
  
MISAO: Postive. I won't even lay a finger on him...  
  
KAORU: You have to promise.  
  
MISAO: Kaoru don't you trust me?  
  
KAORU: Nope.  
  
MISAO: Aw, Kaoru!  
  
KAORU: Fine. Just, please, try not to betray us, ok?  
  
MISAO: (gives a salute and jumps out of the window into the dark)  
  
KAORU: Misao! Not a finger! remember?  
  
MISAO: Hai! Just trust me, ne? I'll give you the full account on what happened. (winks at Kaoru)  
  
KAORU: Uh, no thanks. But be careful ok. (smiles and waves goodbye and notice Okina standing alone) Hey, Okina, are you sure you're alright staying there?  
  
OKINA: I'm fine.   
  
KAORU: Ok, I'll just leave you there. (closes the door and moves away from it)  
  
OKINA: (looks hungrily through the walls) Heh, Tanuki, no one can keep me out. Especially not from a house full of beautiful and young women! (hides in the shadows)   
  
Evil laugh piercing the night....  
  
  
  
Aoshi was somberly walking towards the Akabeko in which he hoped was the right direction, the last thing he wanted was to get lost and be forced to sleep on the street. He was finding it hard to concentrate, he kept having a flashback of Misao when he came home late the other week.  
  
He chanced upon Misao still bathing but regardless, she jumped on him, soaking wet and all, hugging him and yelling that he was such an idiot for surprising her but frantically kissing him all over his face.  
  
Someone was walking up behind him. He turned smoothly, his eyes flashing. The silent street stared back at him. He sighed. He was getting all jumpy over nothing. He stopped by the Akabeko and was surprised to find out that the door was open. He wasn't shocked to find the place in such a mess. It seemed that the girls have left in a hurry to support Kaoru's plan.  
  
He sighed, thinking that only Himura's wife was head-strong enough to propose such an outrageous plan. He pitied Himura, truth to be told and chuckled silently calling to mind Saitou's enraged expression when he found out that it was his wife's support that sealed the feminine uprising.  
  
Actually, at first he was worried, Misao is pretty headstrong at times but he also knew how to wear his wife's energy down having been married to her for quite some time now. He knew how to expertly catch the hurled kunais and how to turn Misao into jelly in his hands.  
  
AOSHI: (smirking loudly) Oh, yes, I know how to tame the enemy, better yet, one angry weasel  
  
MISAO: Oh, you're here finally! (she greeted cheerfully, but stopped herself, she had to get on with her plan)  
  
AOSHI: (stares blankly at her)  
  
MISAO: What's wrong Aoshi? Aren't you going to greet me? (she asked softly)  
  
AOSHI: Ta-tadiama. (a little surprise, but not entirely unhappy. No. Not at all.)   
  
MISAO: You seemed so surprise. You can't get rid of me that quickly. (she smiled. Ha! He's going to take the bait! He has to, or else...) Well, go wash you self. I'll be waiting at our room. (heads towards their room)  
  
AOSHI: But...I thought...I....(he sighed, he will never truly understand womnen) She seemed a little miffed that I didn't want to take her from Kamiya-san.... (he stood for a moment analyzing the situation, but smirked again, full of confidence and male pride, he certainly hoped Misao was madder than a spurned peahen because it is her volatility that enlivened their marriage. Most of their fights would result in such a passionate joining, and he enjoyed the challenge of Misao's muleheaded principles.) Wait till Sagara hears about this! I, Shinamori Aoshi, able to break a sacred vow of the women! (he liked the idea so much he hurriedly cleaned himself off and headed towards their room)  
  
He quietly entered the dimly lit room the sight that greeted him so startled him he dropped his kodachis heedlessly in their tatami.  
  
There, bathed in moonlight, looking as pure and sweet as an angel was a silent and docile Misao.  
  
MISAO: (watched him through her bangs and tried to imagine what was going on his mind...she was loving every minute of this...She sat on her heels, facing him and she raised her head only briefly, her blue eyes demurely downcast before bowing her head, her hands folded neatly on her lap her hair was caught up in a very wifely bun, her kimono simple but evocative.)   
  
AOSHI:...(She didn't say a single word as Aoshi perused her and Aoshi found himself becoming decidedly anxious)  
  
MISAO: Welcome home anata   
  
She had said it so softly that Aoshi strained to hear her and was dumbfounded when Misao refused to look at him.   
  
AOSHI: *What the heck is going on?* ( he thought furiously, his scowl increasing when he saw Misao flinch as if in fear)  
  
MISAO: Anata, desu, you have no need to shout (trying her best to look fragile and forlorn)  
  
Aoshi realized that he wasn't merely thinking, he has shouted and rightly so, because his wife has thoroughly rattled him. He saw her fingers were white as she gripped them together and he was appalled!  
  
He strode over to her and sat on his heels in front of her, he studied her quietly, unable to believe this was his wife who shouted invectives earlier and demanding that they sign the treaty.   
  
AOSHI: Misao-mine, please tell me what is wrong? Are you sick? (Maybe she hurt her head or something like that, Aoshi thought)  
  
MISAO: (she took a deep breath and burst into tears at his light touch, she didn't have any problem looking weak and defeated) Watashi...watashi...iie...  
  
Bewildered and horrified, he tried to comfort his wife. Even as a child, she never cried like this, true, she threw temper tantrums but even in the wake of tears, Misao could still be spitting mad and full of bravado. He kissed her forehead, her temple and it seemed most natural that his lips would caress hers too.   
  
Pliant in his arms but unresponsive, Misao's lack of response really rankled on Aoshi. Whenever he kissed her, she gave him as good as she got. But now it was like he was enduring his attentions.   
  
His stomach turned queasy at such a horrible thought and he felt his temper rising.  
  
He lifted his lips from her and Misao immediately opened her eyes, half-opened actually because her lashes were still demurely lowered, as she pulled away from him.  
  
His temper was sorely strained now and before he knew it, he took his petite wife in his arms and kissed her passionately, knowing his wife adored his unpredictable bursts of passion. He was just getting into it when he realized Misao was absolutely still in his arms.   
  
With a strong oath, he dropped his arms and stood up, pacing like a restless tiger while giving his wife dark looks.  
  
MISAO: (Misao took a deep breath, trying to control her growing mirth and modulated her voice to a soft whisper) Anata, would you like tea?  
  
AOSHI: Iie (he bit out, his mind thinking rapidly while giving his wife dark looks. Is this some sort of a twisted plan? He studied his wife some more) Misao...  
  
MISAO: (she cut him off with another soft voiced offer) Massage?  
  
AOSHI: Iie.  
  
MISAO: Would you like me to fan you? The weather is a bit warm? (fanning herself, deliberately loosening the top of the kimono she was wearing, revealing her creamy skin. She smiled slowly at the way his eyes skimmed over to her breast)  
  
AOSHI: (ignoring the loosened material) No!  
  
MISAO: Would you like to rest your weary head upon my lap? (asked Misao sweetly, hiding her self-satisfied smile. She caught him draw his eyes to her folded knees and the way he licked his lips....she tried not to double over in laughter. She decided to torture him so more...)  
  
Whirling, Aoshi turned to chastise his wife and found her still in a very submissive pose. He had started to feel his hardness pressing on his pants the moment he caught a glimpse at her skin and heady memories found it's way into his brain. But there was something decidedly wrong with Misao....  
  
A small smile was playing at her mouth and belatedly, he realized his wife's plan. He strode over to his wife, hauled her to her feet and began shaking her, as if trying to shake some sense into her.  
  
AOSHI: Chikusho Misao! Stop being so damn docile!  
  
MISAO: I'm not...(she lowered her voice seductively and hunched her shoulder, making sure that he has a full views of her cleavage, pressing herslf into him and then backing away when she felt his hard shaft, blushing to the roots of her hair, which thankfully Aoshi didn't notice)  
  
AOSHI: (he wasn't sure if she was seducing him or was playing mind games with him. But his problem was, he couldn't even think of making love with her while she's acting so....so prim!. He stared at her eyes. When Misao's eyes were still spinning, Aoshi whirled around, picking up his fallen kodachis and grabbing his trench coat) That damn female! Who does she think she is?  
  
MISAO: Aoshi-sama? (she whisphered in a weak voice she knew Aoshi hated)  
  
AOSHI: Nani? (he growled)  
  
MISAO: Watashi... I would feel much stronger if you would sign the peace treaty, anata, (whispered Misao fluttering her eyelashes mockingly)  
  
AOSHI: Hai! (he bellowed before stomping out of the bedroom. Feeling his hardness lessen into a more bearable pain) Being prim doesn't become you weasel, I hate it do you hear me? (he shouted before slamming the door and walking out of the room)  
  
Misao made sure Aoshi has gone a safe distance before she began laughing, rolling in the neatly made futon in her hilarity.   
  
Smugly, she realized her husband's plan to tame her and knew she wouldn't be able to resist her husband's tender persuasion. Being so unlike herself would sure unbalance him. She grinned and rolled over, unpinning her hair and shrugging off her kimono to don her ninja uniform. She better report back to Kaoru-chan and see the developments in the other girls.   
  
MISAO: Aoshi-sama, you better sign the treaty or suffer my wrath.   
  
A kunai blade gleamed in the dull light.  
  
  
  
Author's note:  
Wai! Wai! Jo-chan is really good. All creadits should go to her for this scene! Jo-chan, would you like to say something to our readers?  
  
jo-chan: Ohayo! Actually, my contribution just looked good because yuki-dono edited it! =) Anyway, i'm really glad for this chance to collaborate because eversince I've read Rabukome, I've been bursting with ideas! I'm just glad because at least, I got to read this particular installment first! bwahaha! well, like the other readers of rabukome, lets just hope yuki-dono finishes it, or we have to resort to extreme measures and  
tie her to her computer! (evil grin) Hey yuki, maybe you can help me with "Intricacies of Fate"? happy readings guys, i'm really enjoying this fic! 


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